Title: The Taming of the Prat
Pairings: Merlin/Arthur, Lancelot/Gwen
Disclaimer: Don't own
Summary: When Merlin has Uther's son hoisted onto him in a last ditch effort to 'straighten Arthur out', Merlin's world is turned upside down by the blonde arse, who makes him confused one minute, want to kill him the next, and reluctantly aroused the next...
Arthur hadn't moved all night.
Either he was drunker than Merlin had believed possible...or he was dead.
Either way, it wasn't looking good for him.
Sometime during the night Merlin had managed to relax enough to fall asleep, and he'd comforted himself with the knowledge that things couldn't possibly get worse.
He should have known better than to jinx himself.
Merlin didn't know what time he woke up the next day, or what exactly it was that first started the prickle of awareness that dragged him from his surprisingly enough comfortable slumber. Maybe it was the warmth and weight of Arthur's body blanketing his, maybe it was the feel of his breath against Merlin's neck, or maybe it was the morning hard-on the blonde had pressed up against his thigh. The dark haired man bit down on his bottom lip, refusing to open his eyes, as he felt that cock long and hard and throbbing against him.
Prince Prat was huge
For a moment he let himself drift, let himself imagine being in this predicament for another reason.
He imagined the hot breath on his neck accompanied by nibbling, imaged those large hands on his waist...imagined that cock...
He was beginning to respond, his own manhood waking up to twitch at the imaginings.
Arthur grumbled in his sleep and gave a little buck.
Merlin's eyes flew open. "Arthur!" He hissed, desperate. "Get off! Get off get off get off!" He then felt himself coloring. "I mean get off me! Get off of
me!" He closed his eyes tightly and shook his head, trying once more to push the blonde bastard off of him. "Wake up you-."
"Merlin." A voice announced from the doorway behind them. "Is there something you want to tell me?"
Merlin's eyes flew open wide and he blanched.
Oh dear god
Tilting his head backwards as far as possible, he couldn't keep the flinch hidden as he gazed upon an upside down Uther Pendragon.
"Does everyone have an extra key to my flat?" He asked conversationally, head hurting him form being bent back, feeling somewhat dizzy and disoriented since everything was upside down.
"Are you buggering my son?" Uther wanted to know in a very calm voice.
Blistering Bleeding Bloody sod.
"No." Merlin hissed, admittedly grateful that this whole situation had forced Little Merlin to lose all interest. "I am not buggering your son."
Uther paused for a moment, raising an eyebrow. "Is my son buggering you?"
"Oh dear god-Uther
!" Merlin cried, feeling close to tears from the mortification. "Get your prattish, drunkard spawn off of me!"
Eyeing Merlin suspiciously, as if not quite believing that there was no buggering of some sort going on, Uther finally deigned to help, pulling his still passed out son off of the pale man and lowering him to his bed.
Arthur made a little sound in his sleep, as if not quite content, and hugged his pillow.
"Oh thank god." Merlin whispered in relief.
He tried to stand, but couldn't even sit up, wincing at the pain in his back. His muscles were screaming at him, calling him all sorts of foul things for subjecting them to a night on the floor.
Uther raised an eyebrow at Merlin's inability to sit up, his expression betraying the fact that he obviously did not believe that buggering had not occurred.
"I spent the whole night with his drunken arse on top me me." Merlin growled from the floor. "My back is seized up."
"Of course." The older man cleared his throat before reaching down and helping the younger male up.
Merlin winced, back bent forwards slightly, hand on the throbbing pain. "I don't think I can survive living with your son."
Uther snorted, amusement beginning to show on his features as he led them out of Arthur's room, closing the door. "I was concerned last night when you didn't call to give me your opinion on the band like you always do. And when midday passed and still nothing, I decided to come and see if you and Arthur had killed each other."
Merlin smirked. "You were worried."
"Of course I was." Uther scoffed, going towards Merlin's coffee maker. "Arthur is my heir-no matter how reluctant he is about it. And you're Hunith's son. If you died she'd be terribly unhappy. And she'd be cross with me
if you died because of my
"Your concern for my safety touches me." Merlin snarked as he slowly lowered himself down onto the stool, and then blushed when he noticed the look Uther was giving him. "Oh for the love of God! I didn't get buggered last night!"
"Oh, I believe you." Uther commented as he scooped the grounded coffee beans into the filter. "You wouldn't be half as miserable as you are now if you had been."
"Uther!" Merlin covered his face with his hands in despair. "For the love of all things holy, just stop."
"You truly are too sensitive, Merlin." Uther decided as he started the coffee maker and went to sit down next to him. "All I'm saying is that I could understand if you'd be interested in my son in a sexual manner. Arthur is an admittedly handsome man, people fall in love with him constantly. But I believe he's very much straight, and I don't want you getting your heart broken." He reached over and patted Merlin's shoulder in what was probably suppose to be a comforting gesture, but was a little too rough and awkward. "If you are truly feeling this lonely, I know a very good chap you would like. A couple good chaps, actually."
Merlin sighed. "Uther."
"All I'm saying is that if you fall for my son you'll just end up getting hurt. And being in such close quarters with him-."
"Why does everyone think I'm going to fall in love with him?" Merlin wanted to know a little desperately. "He's not even my type! He's the farthest thing from it! There's no way in hell that I could ever fall in love with Arthur Pendragon."
Uther raised an eyebrow.
Merlin sighed. "I'll think about it, okay? The blokes I mean."
"That's a good lad." Uther nodded in fatherly approval. "Now, I know Arthur doesn't have a class until three. But haven't you missed some?"
The younger man winced. "Yeah. But it's okay. I'm a bit advanced in those classes anyway."
Uther nodded, that fatherly pride still there. "Now, if only you could instill some of that in Arthur." He sighed. "I've been keeping an eye on him, and he's barely passing his classes. It's not that he lacks the intelligence mind you, but he lacks the motivation. If he'd stop partying as much and actually applied himself to his field he'd be quite the scholar."
The confidence Uther had in his son's abilities was enviable.
Merlin missed having a father to boast of him like that, but he knew Balinor had suffered long and hard with his cancer, and while Merlin missed his father terribly, he knew that he was in a better place now.
"I'll try, Uther, but Arthur's a grown man." He sighed. "In the end it's all going to depend on him."
Uther sighed and nodded.
Beeping echoed throughout the room.
Uther pulled out his blackberry and checked the message. "Well, I must be off." He pointed towards the coffee machine. "Drink and revive yourself once its done." Ruffling Merlin's hair affectionately, he made towards the door. "And wash your face, lad. All that cosmetic crap you put on is messed up." With that he picked up the camera case by the door, waved it so Merlin could see he was taking it, and then left.
Merlin watched the door close and then he groaned, leaning against the counter.
This was just too much to have to deal with so soon after waking up.
A glance in the coffee maker's direction proved that it still needed a little time, so with a groan Merlin forced himself off of the stool and limped towards the bathroom. He bathed, letting the warm water work on his tense muscles, and by the time he'd emerged out of the bathroom, he'd felt human once more. The young man went to the coffee machine and filled a mug with the dark liquid, adding a little cream and sugar before taking a sip of its delicious warmth, letting out a little moan of appreciation.
He was about to sit down when the doorbell rung.
Sighing, Merlin put down the mug and went to the door, peering through the peephole before unlocking. "Lancelot?"
Standing in the doorway, grinning brightly, Lancelot seemed handsomer than usual. "She loved it Merlin! She was so happy! I could see the happiness on her face!" He then reached forwards and hugged Merlin tightly. "Thanks mate. You always
come through for me."
Merlin gulped, closing his eyes, feeling that tug of pain in his heart as he slowly hugged back. "I'm..glad."
lin!" A groggy voice complained from the bedroom. "That bed is terrible
. I feel like I slept on the floor
Merlin winced and turned, pulling out of Lancelot's hold to see Arthur standing there, clothes ruffled, hair a mess.
He still managed to look amazing.
It was annoying.
Arthur frowned, leaning against the wall. "Oh, it's loverboy."
Lancelot frowned as well. "Merlin? What is he doing here?"
"Oh, didn't your boy toy tell you?" Arthur gave a look of mock innocence. "We moved in together."
Glaring at the blonde for obviously trying to rile Lancelot up, Merlin turned towards his friend. "He's Uther's son, and Uther asked me to do this favor."
Lancelot looked down at Merlin, eyes wide, before he smiled. "That was very noble of you, Merlin."
Merlin gave a half-chuckle.
Of course Lancelot would find it noble.
"Just gag me." Arthur grumbled from where he was leaning.
Shooting his flatmate an evil glare, Merlin shook his head and turned to Lancelot. "Sorry about him, he's made being a Prat a calling."
Lancelot smiled in amusement. "Now Merlin, that's not nice."
Merlin rolled his eyes. "Whatever." He opened his mouth to ask about what Gwen had said exactly when she'd seen the gift...and if he'd talked to her about the Peace Corps, but he felt uncomfortable with Arthur's gaze on his back. He paused, waiting for the blonde to excuse himself, but the prat only folded his arms over his chest and continued watching them. Taking in an annoyed breath, Merlin turned towards the blonde. "Do you mind?"
"Not at all." Arthur gave him a smirk.
Glaring, Merlin grabbed Lancelot's hand and pulled him outside, closing the door, pissed that he couldn't even have a conversation in his own flat. "Sorry about that, mate. He's the biggest arsehole I have ever met and he seems to have it in for you."
"It doesn't matter." Lancelot smiled, looking a little sheepish. "It actually kinda makes sense to me now, how he reacted that day."
"Huh?" Merlin frowned, confused.
The door opened and Arthur leaned in the doorway. "Where's the milk?"
"In the fridge." Merlin didn't turn to look at him.
"If it was in the fridge I wouldn't be asking, now would I, Mer
lin?" Arthur grumbled.
"Check in the cupboard then." Merlin rolled his eyes at Lancelot.
"Look for it." Merlin growled, turning towards him finally, annoyed like only Arthur could make him.
"Seriously Merlin." Arthur glared right back at him. "Have you forgotten what it means to have a houseguest? You're supposed to tend to them and not leave them to fend for themselves in the jungle you call your habitat." He raised an unimpressed eyebrow. "You're the worst host ever."
"One, I'm your flatmate, so we're going to be sharing these duties equally." Merlin resisted the urge to poke him in that ridiculously broad chest of his. "Two-wait-." He paused, noticing the blonde chest hair. "Why are you shirtless?"
"It's bloody hot in there." Arthur replied. "Something must be wrong with your thermostat." He made a face, rubbing the back of his neck. "Just like there's something wrong with that bed! I'm in pain. It's like I slept on the ruddy floor or something."
A muscle might have jumped in Merlin's chest from anger. "Put on a bloody shirt. Its a rule."
"It's a stupid rule." Arthur replied, defiant. "I'm a man
. I shouldn't have to go by rules anyway."
"You don't like the rule, you can leave." Merlin couldn't keep himself from poking Arthur in the chest this time, forcing himself not to pay attention to the feel of him.
"You wouldn't throw me out." Arthur smirked, confident, stepping forwards towards Merlin.
"Remember I'm doing this as a favor to your father." Merlin growled, taking another step towards Arthur, bringing them dangerously into each other's personal space.
Arthur just smirked at Merlin.
Merlin narrowed his eyes further at the blonde.
Lancelot cleared his throat. "I'm-going to be going now."
Merlin turned from Arthur is a second, going towards his friend. "You don't have to-."
"No, Merlin, it's alright." Lancelot smiled happily. "Enjoy yourself with your new friend. I'll see you at work after class."
"We need to talk." Merlin reached out and grabbed at Lancelot's shirt.
Lancelot sighed and looked down. "Later, okay? I have to go help my neighbor move."
A little worried as to what Lancelot had to say that would make him look like that, Merlin nodded and let go. "See you later."
Lancelot nodded to Merlin, then to Arthur, and left, taking the stairs.
Merlin watched him go, worried.
"Really, mate, you should dump him already." Arthur announced from where he was leaning back against the doorway. "He's so nice its bloody annoying."
Merlin ignored him, still watching Lancelot go.
bloody annoying." Arthur continued. "I think we need to have a talk."
Sighing, Merlin finally turned to face the blonde. "What is it?"
"Since we're living together, I think its only fair that I make some rules as well." The blonde announced. "And my first rule is that you're not allowed to bring any blokes to this house."
"I beg your pardon?" Merlin blinked, unable to believe what he was hearing.
"I won't bring any birds to this place, and you shouldn't bring any blokes." Arthur announced firmly. "This is hallowed ground, a sanctuary, it shouldn't be disturbed because of problems with someone you're shagging."
"You're ridiculous." Merlin announced as he walked passed Arthur into the flat and went to the fridge. Opening the door he looked inside, trying to find where he'd put the cottage cheese. He pushed aside the two bottles of milk and looked behind them...before pausing. "Arthur."
"What?" The blonde asked, sitting on the kitchen stool.
"How did you miss two sodding bottles
of milk?" Merlin wanted to know, turning to face the blonde, holding said bottles high.
"Were they there all along?" Arthur asked cooly. "Pour me some cereal into a bowl while you're at it mate? Hopefully you don't have something terrible and healthy. But you look the type."
Merlin blinked. "You-have on a shirt."
"It's a bit chilly in here, don't you think?" Arthur asked conversationally.
Merlin frowned, putting the bottles onto the counter and closing the fridge door. "Did you just do all of this to bother Lancelot?"
"All of what?" Arthur wanted to know, frowning. "I don't see you getting me any cereal."
Merlin ignored that. "The interrupting and the shirtless-ness. You did that to bother Lancelot." He paused before narrowing his eyes. "Exactly how straight are you?"
"Excuse me?" Arthur hissed.
"Because I'll let you know, Lancelot's not interested." Merlin could easily tell him that since Lancelot was unfortunately straighter than straight.
Arthur snorted. "Right
Merlin felt a flash of jealousy, but then bit it back.
It was irrational to feel jealous.
Lancelot wouldn't look at Arthur in that way.
He had Gwen.
"You know, it's a little juvenile, to tease the person you like." Merlin grumbled as he put the bottles back into the fridge.
"Hey! I need those for my cereal!" The blonde pouted before suddenly realizing something and frowning. "And I do not like Lance-alot!"
"Of course." Merlin nodded, heading towards the bedroom.
"What about my breakfast?" Arthur called after him.
"Get it yourself!" Merlin entered the room and slammed it shut a little harder than necessary before leaning back against the wood.
Why did this bother him so much?
Sighing, he pushed away from the door and readied himself to go to his classes.