Title: Draco Malfoy And The Snarky Pen Pal
Universe: Fidelius Series
Characters: Draco Malfoy, Chloe Sullivan
Fandoms: Harry Potter/Smallville
Disclaimer: Don't own
Summary: When Draco is forced to go to Muggle Studies, and have a muggle as his pen pal, he wasn't ready for the american who could insult and make him reluctantly amused at the same time. Chloe Ann Sullivan doesn't know her place, but for some utterly messed up reason, that's the fun part.
A/N1: Set Smallville Season One, and AU Harry Potter Timeline after The Goblet Of Fire.
A/N 2: Considering that Moira was Ella's sister and not Sam's, her last name probably isn't "Lane" lol, so I made it Carter after Lynda Carter...who plays Moira.
Draco Malfoy sneered in disgust as he walked out of the obligatory Muggles Studies. Once it'd been a mandatory class, but ever since the war with the Dark Lord had started, Hogwarts laws had changed and all Purebloods were forced to attend the class in what Draco was sure was a way to try and get them to see Muggles as 'living people' and thus keep the kids from becoming Death Eaters.
The blonde thought it was idiotic.
Just like he thought this new idea was idiotic as well.
Professor Burbage was an idiot.
He looked down at the name that'd been pulled out of the Sorting Hat.
Chloe Ann Sullivan.
They were going to have to correspond with muggles through correspondence, and their letters would be reviewed by Professor Burbage before being sent out, and this grade would make up a significant amount of his annual grade.
Draco snarled as he took out his quill and parchment and began to write.Attn: Chloe Ann Sullivan of Smallville, Kansas, United States of America
There was no way he was going to write 'Dear Chloe', as Professor Burbage had hinted would be best.
This was a stupid muggle, and he didn't want a good grade that desperately.My name is Draco Malfoy, and I am fifteen years old.
I was informed by my professor that I was to start a correspondence with you and that standard etiquette dictates that I state some facts of myself while still allowing for a bit of mystery so that you can ask questions and we can find common ground with which to...bond.
He sneered.I attend a prestigious boarding school-though you must already know of this from the information your professor gave you-and I come from an even more prestigious family.
Everyone here knows of the Malfoys, and those who don't know of us aren't worth knowing themselves.
Though I doubt you would have heard of us.
I am an only child, and my parents are still alive.
Draco Malfoy of the Noble Houses of Malfoy and Black
He stood and passed the message to Professor Burbage.
She read over the note and looked up at him, as if about to say something, before she shook her head and motioned for him to sit down as other students came to give her their first letters to their correspondents.
Once she had them all in her hands, she stood. "Since they are muggle and don't know about magic we obviously can't send them by owl to their homes, so I have worked out with Professor Dumbledore that they will arrive partway to a friend who is a Squib and lives in the muggle world. He will collect the letters and transcribe them into emails, which is an instant form of communication that the muggles use via a box with a keyboard. Once our friend recieves the emailed replies he will send us back the answers by owl. After your receive the first response you can just write it and send it directly to him and not go through me. Is that understood?"
Draco left happily, and he nearly forgot about his 'penpal' until a week later when, during breakfast, an owl dropped a letter in front of him.
He sneered at it, not wanting to open it.
He didn't want to converse with some stupid muggle.
She didn't even have any magic.
She was lower than a mudblood because at least they had some magic in them.
Still, he was curious to know of what simple-minded muggle he'd been attached to, and so he opened his letter, like others at his table were, and read silently.Attn: Completely Egoistic And Narcissist British Punk
His eyes widened.As you obviously already know, my name is Chloe Sullivan and I'm an American.
That's as much as you know about me and that's obviously as much as you really care to know about me since you didn't show a bit of interest in the letter you wrote. Everything was about you and your mommy and daddy and the pounds they have in their bank account.
You don't want to write me.
A blind person could see that.
I didn't want to be stuck writing to some snobbish brit who makes himself feel better by trying to show superiority with his titles and what not. Be something because of who you are. Not because of your last name.
This is supposed to be a cultural experience, and you're ruining it for me.
I don't appreciate that.
Chloe Sullivan of the equably noble houses of Sullivan and Carter.
Draco's eyes widened as his lips parted.
And he saw red.
That stupid little bitch had not just written that!
He erased the words preexisting on the paper and began writing directly on it.Attn: Little American Bitch
Do you even understand the privilege your third-class arse was given by being selected to write to me? Do you know how many others (who actually KNOW who's who) would give their arms and LEGS to be in your position? I think you need to learn gratitude and to learn your place.
So what if you didn't want to be writing to someone like me?
If I was going to be forced to write someone of inferior birth and breeding, believe me, I think I deserved better than YOU.
Draco Malfoy, Future Lord of Malfoy Manor
He'd written the address he hadn't realized he'd memorized on the back of the letter and handed it back to the owl, feeling victorious and smug.
That was until the owl returned at dinnertime.Attn: Bastard of Questionable Upbringing
It read imperiously, making his blood boil.Let me tell you something.
If by being 'first class citizens' it means your daddy and mommy don't even want you living in your own home and prefer to send you to boarding school so they can get rid of you for most of the year-then I prefer my 'third class citizen' status in which I live with a loving father who never fails to tell me how happy he is that I'm here and how much he loves me and how everything in the world is alright as long as I'm happy.
You'll probably make note of the fact that I only mentioned my father and will make some jab about my mother.
Let me beat you to the chase.
My mother abandoned my father and I when I was eight years old.
One day she hugged me and told me how much she loved me, and the next day she was gone.
I don't know if she really loved me or not, but in the end I don't see the need to know.
My father adores me.
He gives me freedom to be my own person and make my own mistakes and I love him for that.
Draco frowned, continuing to read.And I don't need my mother because I have friends who love and adore me, and their parents are very sweet and Mrs. Kent is like a mother to me anyway.
So you can go ahead and taunt me for not having a mother.
It won't bother me.
But you can still give it a try if you want.
Chloe Sullivan, Woman of the Sullivan Household
Draco frowned darker, looking at the paper in front of him.
For some reason this letter had bugged him intensely.
He only wrote back something short.Attn: Defensive American Who Assumes Too Much
For your information, my upbringing was impeccable, and as sole heir to my parents' fortune and legacy, it was an honor to attend the school I am going to now. It wasn't a matter of not wanting me at home.
He paused, clearing his throat.I don't see the merit of taunting you on being motherless.
Draco Malfoy, Sole Heir
He hadn't expected the next letter to arrive so rapidly.
There'd been a tapping on his bedroom window right before he'd gone to sleep, and it's been the owl, glaring at him for overworking it in such a way.
He'd ignored the creature and opened the letter, not sure why he was anxious to read the contents.Attn: Toad Under A Spell
He blinked, not exactly sure what to make of that.I shouldn't have said that about your parents.
I've learnt the best way to defend myself is to attack others first.
It's worked quite effectively so far in my life.
Chloe Sullivan, Only Child
Draco had no idea why this little note made him smile.
It made no sense.
He shooed the owl away, promising to take the answer to the owlery the next day.
The creature was all too happy to go and rest.
Draco gave the note one last look before he put it on his bedside table and went to bed.