Chloe/Katherine, Lois/Oliver, Lana/ClarkRating:
Summary: Katherine Pierce is a spoiled rotten brat who is jealous and possessive, but she is NOT Chloe's "wifey" (no matter WHAT Lois says). On the same note, Chloe is NOT "whipped". She is NOT. Really, she isn't.A/N: This oneshot features the winning pairing of my Chloe/Femslash poll on facebook, in which Katherine Piece (The Vampire Diaries) went up against Malia Tate (Teen Wolf) and Daisy Johnson (Agents of SHIELD). AU, obviously."Katherine's been weird lately," Chloe announced as she played video games while on the graveyard shift with Lois in the Daily Planet's basement. There was no one else that she really felt comfortable talking about this with, and Lois would figure things were weird and get the truth out of her eventually, so she just took this opportunity to vent a little and see if downtime with her favorite cousin could help her figure out exactly what was going on with Katherine Pierce.
"She's a vampire who can walk in the sunlight," Lois responded as she used a cheat move to beat up a zombie on the screen. "Doesn't that make her weird by default?"
Well, there was that.
"Also, she tried to kill you the day you met, nearly drained you of all of your blood, became human for a couple of months thanks to the healing property of your blood, and spent those months telling you you had to look out for her and protect her because it was your fault she was suddenly human and defenseless. And what did you do? Exactly what she said." Lois didn't even look away from the screen as she continued to massacre the zombie hoards. "If you ask me, you're both weird."
Chloe chuckled as her avatar followed in Lois' tracks. When her cell rang she paused the game and answered the call quickly after seeing the Caller ID. "What have you done now?"
There was a moment's silence, and then an obviously pouted: "You act like I'm always getting into trouble or something."
"Mischief is your middle name," Chloe responded, not at all at ease. "So what have you done?"
"I don't think I like your tone," Katherine Pierce declared with a humph. "Put on Lois."
Chloe raised an eyebrow and handed the phone to Lois. "She wants to speak to you."
Looking just as intrigued as Chloe, Lois brought the phone to her ear. "Yeah?" She unpaused the video game and began playing it while holding the phone between her ear and her shoulder. "What else would she be doing at this time of the night?"
Chloe picked up her game controller and began playing again, her attention caught between Lois and the screen.
"Ahuh… ahuh…" Lois did another illegal move with her avatar. "And you can't tell her this yourself because…?" She snickered. "But you are trouble." She barked in laughter. "She hung up on me!"
"What did she want?" Chloe asked curiously.
"To tell you it's your fault she's craving human food again so you have to bring her something to eat when you get back home. She wants Mexican."
"What Mexican place does she think will be open by the time the graveyard shift is over?" Chloe wanted to know.
Lois shrugged. "You've got an unreasonable wifey, Chlo, and you don't make things easier on yourself by spoiling her."
Chloe choked on her saliva. "She's not my wifey."
"Sure." Lois rolled her eyes. "And those aren't love bites decorating your neck."
"She needs to feed," Chloe muttered as she straightened her collar self-consciously. "And I heal quick enough that the actual bite mark goes in hours, leaving just… well…"
"A hickey," Lois provided when Chloe floundered on the word. "Also, whenever she's human she acts like a pregnant wife ordering you about and you take it." She rolled her eyes. "You're so whipped it's ridiculous."
"I'm not whipped." Chloe rolled her eyes. "And you know why she's human right now. The gala is tomorrow night and they make sure no one is invited in."
"Who would've thought Smallville had a vampire killing secret society?" Lois made a face. "And who would've thought just how easy it would be to trick them into thinking Katherine is just the booty call you can't get rid of? Give her enough blood to turn her human for the gala they throw every six months, as well as get her to go to the doctor once or twice while her heart's beating and everything's all human thanks to your blood… have her walk in the sunlight is also great… and bababoom. No one is the wiser."
Chloe sighed and leaned hard against the seat. Or at least they did, before all the kissing started. "Where in the world am I going to find Mexican?"
Lois' only answer was to make the sound of a whip lashing.
"Will you stop?" Chloe whined and hated it, but Katherine Pierce could make her whine like none other. If Lois saw this, or if word somehow got back to her cousin, Chloe knew that she would never be able to live it down. Despite her complaints and her denial, Chloe knew for a fact that people in Smallville thought she and Katherine were together, and really she couldn't blame them, not when her neck was covered in 'hickeys' which makeup couldn't completely hide. Also, to help "sell the act" Katherine always insisted that Chloe leave some of her as well, and those Katherine never tried to cover up.
Katherine ignored her, instead fixing Chloe's hair front while in full view of the front door. People were still arriving at the gala, they'd had to park quite a distance to get a parking space, and the whole walk over Katherine had been fussing with something or the other. The closer they got to the building, the more fussy Katherine became. She was always like this when they attended the bi-annual gala, and while Chloe had thought the vampire would get better in time she only seemed to be getting worse.
"Katerina!" Chloe whimpered and nearly stomped her foot in embarrassment as she saw a couple of guests giggling to each other. She usually only used Katherine's original name when she was beyond embarrassed or annoyed, and since she felt both right now it'd just slipped out. "You're embarrassing me."
Katherine followed Chloe's glance over towards the other couples and rolled her eyes. "My date is not going to look like she just rolled out of bed." She continued to fuss with Chloe's hair. "Plus, this is really girlfriendy of me, so just deal with it." At Chloe pout, Katherine glared. "Do you know how lucky you are that I'm your girlfriend? People have massacred whole villages just to catch my eye. You have my full, undivided attention, so suck it up."
With anyone else that might seem like an exaggeration, but considering what Chloe knew of Katherine's past she didn't doubt the truth about supposed massacres in her name. "Yes, dear."
Katherine's lips twitched in evil amusement. "You sound like a browbeaten husband."
"I feel like a browbeaten husband," Chloe assured her. "I feel that way all the time!"
Katherine grinned fuller. "Good."
Growling, Chloe threw her hands in the air and turned to walk towards the front door.
Katherine easily caught up with her, muttered that Chloe was so ungrateful, and then looped her arm around Chloe's. A smile was visible on the vampire's face as they stepped through the front door, pretending not to notice the way that the men in suits in the dark corners by the door were crossing their names off of the "guest list". They'd passed the test, once more proving their "humanity" by getting in uninvited.
Immediately they were greeted by people they knew, and for the first half hour Katherine and Chloe merely mingled with the other guests, making sure enough of those related to the Town Council (or those from the Council themselves) saw them there and knew that they'd passed the test. While the Town Council fought vampires and werewolves, they were also keeping an eye out on metahumans. They weren't anti-metahumans though, especially since a couple of them were metahumans, but those who went psycho in Smallville disappeared, and Chloe knew exactly what was happening. It was only one of the reasons why Chloe had kept her own healing mutation a secret, that and because she had this feeling that should the Town Council find out they might want to take advantage of her ability.
"I honestly don't see the appeal, no matter how hard I try I just don't see it," Katherine muttered.
Chloe followed her gaze and bit her bottom lip to keep from giggling when she saw that the vampire's attention was on Lana and Clark.
"It's not funny." Katherine glared at her.
"It's a little funny," Chloe assured her.
"No, it's not." Katherine folded her arms over her chest.
"You're jealous over the fact that Lana has more metahuman psychotic admirers than you do," Chloe reminded with a giggle in her tone. "That's messed up."
"I don't want psychotic admirers, believe me I've had my share in the passed and I am done with that." Katherine rolled her eyes. "I just… I can't see how they would find her more appealing." She sneered. "I mean, look at her. And then look at me. There's no contest." She then frowned and turned to look at Chloe. "Right?"
Chloe didn't even really look at Lana. She knew that the girl would be gorgeous as always, it was only natural for Lana. Instead the blonde turned towards her "date" and sighed with an amused smile on her lips. "Katherine Pierce, you know you're the most beautiful woman in this whole building."
Katherine didn't look appeased. "In the building?"
Chloe giggled. Anyone else might find Katherine incredibly pompous, but she amused Chloe to no end. "In the whole of Smallville?"
"Getting warmer," Katherine muttered, eyebrow raised.
Shaking her head with a laugh, Chloe reached out and brushed a stray curl out of Katherine's face. "I'm not going to tell you that you're the most beautiful woman in the world."
"Why not?" Katherine pouted playfully.
"Well, I haven't met all the women in the world yet," Chloe teased.
Katherine looked both amused and scandalized. "You—!"
Movement over Katherine's shoulder had Chloe cupping the back of Katherine's head and pulling the vampire in close. Her other arm curled around Katherine's waist, drawing her in closer as she pressed up on her tiptoes to easier reach the taller girl's lips. Just like every time Chloe found herself kissing Katherine, she tried to ignore the way her breath caught in her throat, or her heart skipped a beat. This was just a cover, a way to keep her odd, undead friend alive and well. If it weren't for the hickeys that eternally covered Chloe's neck, chest and shoulders from feeding they could've pretended to just be roommates, but given everything this was the only way not to make anyone suspicious. So what if she might actually enjoy it? What was wrong with that?
Despite having worried about Chloe's hair earlier on, Katherine's arms curled around Chloe's neck, her fingers digging into Chloe's hair and holding her tightly as she deepened the kiss. One hand cupped the back of Chloe's head and angled it so Katherine could take the kiss deeper and deeper, the vampire stealing her breath, quite literally.
Someone cleared his throat.
Katherine stilled and then growled softly into Chloe's mouth, but by the time they turned their attention on Lex Luthor the vampire was smiling. "Lex, hello!"
"Katherine, Chloe." There was no secret that Katherine fit Lex's "type" and that he would definitely steal her from Chloe if Katherine gave him half a chance. "You both look lovely."
"Thanks." Katherine looked up when the song changed. "Chloe, take me to the dance floor. This is my song."
"It's a waltz," Chloe declared in confusion. "How can it be—?"
Rolling her eyes, Katherine smiled goodbye to Lex and yanked Chloe behind her onto the dance floor, where they remained for the rest of the night.
"Is she really insulted?" Clark asked curiously as Chloe and he sat in her car, staking out a potential story for the Daily Planet.
"Are you kidding?" Chloe giggled, knowing she should probably not get as much glee as she did out of this, but couldn't help herself. "It was the Fairest In The Land curse, and it targeted Lana. Katherine is livid!"
"But she was put into an eternal sleep," Clark muttered in confusion. "If it wasn't for you figuring out what was happening she'd still be sleeping. No medicine or anything was helping."
"True love's kiss," Chloe tried the words on her mouth. "How does it feel? Knowing you two share true love?"
Clark blushed and fidgeted in his seat. "Nice."
Chloe stared at her fingernails, feeling somewhat jealous. It wasn't that she was in love with Clark still, those feelings had left her years ago, but she was jealous that from such a young age he'd known and found the one for him. A curse had proved just how perfect they were for each other. Chloe wished she had that sort of assurance about anything in her life.
Her phone vibrated with a message, and then another, and then another.
Grabbing it, Chloe unlocked the screen and immediately her whatsapp conversation with KitKat was updated.
KitKat: Come home. I'm bored.
Chloe chuckled at the picture of Katherine in bed, pouting up at the camera as she took the selfie. The blonde quickly wrote a response: I will probably be late. Sorry.
The reply was immediate: Unacceptable.
Smile brighter, Chloe shook her head. Sorry.
KitKat: Make it up to me.
Licking her lips, Chloe slipped lower in her seat. She sent Clark a side glance but he was peering out of the window at the building. Her gaze quickly returned to the phone: How?
KitKat: You figure it out.
"Chloe, it's him!" Clark hissed.
Chloe jerked up in surprise and shoved her phone away. "Let's go!" She and Clark emerged from the car, and as they hurried towards the banker, she forgot about her conversation with Katherine.
"You can't still be annoyed at me," Chloe announced as she dropped the bags of Mexican on the counter. "Even if you don't want to talk, you've got to feed. You've been without blood for too long."
Seated on the sofa, Katherine firmly ignored Chloe, like she'd been doing the last couple of days ever since Chloe had "ignored" her while on stake out with Clark. The vampire was watching Twilight, which was what she watched whenever she was in a pissy mood, so Chloe really should've known better than to ask what she just had.
Sighing, Chloe threw herself on the sofa next to her roommate. "I was doing my job, you knew that when you texted me. You can't act so spoiled just because I had to stop texting you to get the story."
Katherine turned up the volume loudly, her gaze on the screen as Edward introduced Bella to vampire baseball.
Rolling her eyes, Chloe grabbed her phone from her pocket and checked her email.
"That's it?" Katherine glared at her. "That's all the effort you're going to give?"
Chloe peeked up from the inbox. "Excuse me?"
"You're not repentant at all!" Katherine snapped as she yanked the phone away from Chloe. "I knew it! Work related! Everything has to do with work for you! Everything!"
"What's wrong with me liking my work?" Chloe wanted to know, exasperation beginning to finally show. "You seem to forget that my work is what pays for this apartment!"
"I could Compel us this apartment for free, and I've offered that a hundred times over!" Katherine declared angrily. "I could Compel everything for us! You do not have to work!"
"I like to work!" Chloe glared at her. "And how exactly would we keep you being a vampire a secret if you're Compelling everyone left right and center?"
"We don't have to stay here then!" Katherine snapped at her as she jumped to her feet. "I could be somewhere else other than this podunk little hickville! Some place with class! With culture! Someplace that doesn't stink of manure!"
"Then why don't you?" Chloe snapped as she jumped up and met the taller girl head-on. "You complain about this place, but how I remember it, you are the one who decided to settle down even after my blood's effects left your system and you returned to being a vampire!"
"Are you saying I should've left?" Katherine snarled as she stormed towards Chloe menacingly. "Are you saying that I'm a burden or something? Because you lucked out with me! I could've killed you for tricking me like that and turning me all human and weak and vulnerable and unable to flip the switch back off!"
"Flip what switch?" Chloe asked in confusion.
"Don't change the subject!" Katherine stabbed her finger angrily in Chloe's face, her eyes and veins darkening, betraying both her anger and the fact that she hadn't fed since her latest human transformation had ended. "You put your job before me!"
"Are you even listening to yourself!?" Chloe was back to angry once more. "You're so spoiled and selfish, Katherine! Not everything is about you!"
"Pay more attention to me!" Katherine was absolutely ignoring her and her points. "I have never had to order someone to pay attention to me! What is wrong with you?"
"You're not even listening to me!" Chloe snapped at her.
Katherine glared furiously at her and then in a second was gone, the front door slamming open.
Sighing, Chloe collapsed on the sofa, not even able to find the desire to get up and close the door. "What is her problem?" She was about to call Lois, but realized that Katherine had left with her phone. A groan escaped her lips as she stared at the screen and watched as Edward and Bella escaped from James. "You guys have it easy." With that she turned off the television and groaned as she collapsed on her back.