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Insecure 1/1 
27th-Jul-2010 11:52 pm
jacob/edward kiss color
Title: Insecure
Sequel to: Rival
Pairing: Jacob/Edward
Fandom: Twilight Saga
Rating: T
Disclaimer: Don't own
Summary: Edward wasn't the only one who got insecure in their relationship, but Jacob prided himself in being able to hide his emotions better than his boyfriend.
A/N: In this universe Edward cannot hear Jacob's thoughts.
FOR yenny2206...Who wanted the sequel to Of Imprinting And Such...but since I still haven't begun on that yet...I present this instead :)

Edward wasn't the only one who got insecure in their relationship, but Jacob prided himself in being able to hide his emotions better than his boyfriend.

Of course, the imprint made him possessive, and of course there were times where just wanted to go all caveman on Edward, grab him by his hair, mutter 'mine' and then drag him to the proverbial cave. But while Jacob might be a werewolf-he wasn't an animal. At least-well-he didn't act like one...except when he was all...furry.

Still, despite his self-control there were times were Jacob nearly lost it, like now, as he watched Edward smiling up front with Jessica, his chemistry partner.

"Down boy." Bella whispered in the Native American's ear. She was his best friend, and now that she knew about his wolfishness (thanks to the fact that his ex-pack member Embry Call had imprinted on her and spilled the beans) she was even more of a confidant than before. "You don't want to wolf out in the middle of chemistry, okay? That wouldn't be subtle."

"She's touching him." Jacob growled back, fingers digging into the wood of their shared table, leaving indents in the strong material. "And he's letting her. Why is he letting her?"

Bella frowned, watching the ones in front. "Jake, you are the one who told Edward that he had to be friendlier to everyone at school, remember? You can't really be angry at him now for following orders."

"I said 'be friendly'------not 'let them sexually molest you'." Jacob hissed.

"With Jess, both are kinda exclusive." Bella sighed, resting her head against Jacob's shoulder. "Don't worry big guy, the one Edward takes home at the end of the day is you, so calm down."

Jacob sighed, thinking about his home at the Cullens.

The vampires had taken him in when they'd found out about his relationship with Edward, and the fact that he'd been thrown out of the pack and the Rez because of it. And even though his father was warming up to the Cullens and his relationship with Edward-and even though Embry now treated him normally (and Quil and Paul were beginning to as well), Jacob still considered the Cullen's home his home.

If something happened between him and Edward, not only would he lose his imprint-but he'd lose his family.

And Jacob didn't know if he could survive that.


"All I'm saying is that it would be fun to have everyone over here for graduation." Alice argued her case. "No one other than Bella had been to this place, and I think it would be nice. We've never had this good a relationship with the humans around us before, and we don't know how long it will take us to find other nice humans to celebrate."

"You really have your heart set on this, huh?" Carlisle announced carefully.

"Yes." Alice nodded in determination.

Jacob sat down on the loveseat, Edward sitting on the ground in front of him between his thighs, leaning back against him.

"I think its stupid." Rosalie frowned, putting down her fashion magazine. "We're vampires. Who else thinks its a stupid idea to have those blood bags jumping up and down our home? There's enough things for them to fall and hurt themselves on. And if they bleed it'll be a massacre."

"We're civilized." Edward glared at Rosalie. "I doubt any of us would just go into bloodlust if someone got hurt."

"Think of Jasper." Rosalie announced. "Remember last time when Bella came over and she got hurt? He nearly ate her."

Jasper looked away, ashamed.

"Rose." Esme tried.

"No, it's true." Rosalie frowned. "I graduated only last year. I didn't want to be around those people for my graduation party. Much less your graduation party? No. This is my home too and I vote against it."

"Stop being so selfish, Rose." Edward snapped. "Alice never asks for anything, and the only time she does you shoot down the idea just because you are being all cranky and have a superiority complex when it comes to humans?"

"That's not it at all!" Rosalie exclaimed. "I do not think being a vampire is better than being a human!"

"Then just because your afterlife sucks, stop trying to drown us all in your misery." Edward snapped.

"Edward." Emmett snapped, standing up. "Take that back!"

Edward did the same. "She needs to get over it and leave Alice alone!"

"You're always taking up for Alice!" Rosalie snapped, standing as well. "Remember you're with Jake."

And with that she stormed off.

"Boys, please." Esme looked between them.

Jacob looked between the feuding brothers and then headed out after Rosalie, finding her on the balcony, looking at the moonlit sky. "Edward shouldn't have said that. I'm sorry."

She sent him a sideways glance and even managed a small, tired sigh, before looking back up at the sky. "I don't think vampires are better than humans."

"I know." Jacob nodded, leaning against the railing besides her.

"Doesn't it bother you? How he always takes up for Alice?" Rosalie questioned. "She's always been his favorite, and with their powers they're so in sync with each other. Doesn't it make you insecure?"

"Yeah." He admitted, because he knew that despite how spiteful Rosalie could be at times, she wouldn't repeat anything told to her in confidence. "It does, sometimes."

It bothered him a lot, actually.

But he tried to remember that despite the fact that they weren't truly related by blood, Edward only saw Alice as a sister, and she only saw him as a brother. Jacob loved his own sisters dearly, and he had to admit that he was always very protective of both of them despite the fact that they were older than him, so he could understand Edward when it came to Alice.

Still, a part of him always reminded him that Alice wasn't related to Edward, and that there was nothing keeping them from falling in love and Edward leaving him.

Jacob had to fight with that voice daily, and he was glad that Alice was a blind vision-wise when it came to him-and that Edward couldn't read his thoughts.

This insecurity in particular was one he really didn't want others knowing.

"If Emmett had a favorite who wasn't me I'd kill him. And her." Rosalie pulled a wind-blown strand of hair out of her face. "Of course, Emmett knows better."

Jacob grinned. "Please, as if he's doing it out of fear." He sent Rosalie a sideways glance. "You know fully well that you're a goddess in Em's eyes. It's pathetic how devoted he is to your worship."

A true, genuine smile touched Rosalie's lips as she turned to look at him. "You're right, of course."

They shared a laugh.

All tension drained from Rosalie as she took in a deep breath, looking at the stars. "I'll apologize to Alice later and offer to help her plan this stupid little party."

"You'll have fun."

Rosalie snorted.

Jacob looked at her, opening his mouth and closing it, before taking in a deep breath. "Rosalie, you're old, right?"

"Excuse me?" She half laughed/half shrieked.

"Okay, that didn't come out the way it sounded in my head." Jacob winced. "What I meant to say was, you were sired in the older times, where there were old time values and stuff."

She raised an eyebrow at him. "Go on."

"You-you can understand Edward better than me because of it." Jacob cleared his throat. "You know...in the olden days...homosexuality was some sort of sin."

Rosalie's expression went serious. "These aren't those days, Jake. Times have changed."

"But Ed's still an Olden Days Values type of guy." Jacob countered. "Do you know how long it got me to convince him that I wasn't going to 'marry' him so if he wanted sex he was just going to have to 'fornicate'?"

Rosalie snorted in amusement.

"What if-?" Jake sighed and looked up at the stars. "What if he gets tired of trying something new and finds himself a good ol' vampire girl to settle down in eternity with?"

Rosalie started to laugh before she noticed the look on his face and went quiet immediately. "You don't really worry about that----do you? Jacob?"

He swallowed, looking away.

"I didn't realize you were stupid." Rosalie announced, a little disappointed. "Edward loves you, Jacob. You want to talk about pathetic mates? Edward is the epitome of stupidly in love vampire." She sighed. "I know I said that about Alice-but I hadn't meant romantically. You should know that."

"He's a vampire-this might be his rebellious stage." Jacob continued on. "The gay werewolf----it sounds so lame. Maybe he'll realize that and-."

"He was the gay, 100-something year old virgin vampire before you came along, Doggie." Rosalie snorted. "That was lame."

Jacob chuckled softly. "It was cute."

Rosalie rolled her eyes.

Jacob smiled, feeling better.


Long, curly, strawberry blonde hair, beautiful curvy figure-face of a vixen and plump lips that were almost constantly pouted and kissable...even Jacob could feel the attraction to the girl Edward had once mentioned was the original truth behind the legends of the succubus. Tanya, leader of the Denali coven, was everything Edward had described and even more. She was most probably the most beautiful woman Jacob had ever seen-not that Jacob would ever say that aloud.

At least not when around Rosalie.

Or Edward.

Tanya's skin sparkled as if thousands of diamonds embedded in them as she followed Edward around in the garden, hanging onto his arm and smiling up into his face.

Edward laughed at what she said and shook his head.

Sitting up on one of the highest limbs of a tree that would hold his weight, Jacob leaned his head against the trunk and looked down at them, glad that he couldn't hear what the two vampires were saying. He didn't think he'd be able to handle it.

It was all he could do to keep control of the wolf and keep from morphing.

They looked...perfect...together.

Both were unearthly beautiful...and sparkly.

Jacob sighed, closing his eyes and leaning harder back against the trunk.

Anyone who saw them touring the gardens together would have thought they were a perfect couple.

If they were human, people would be wishing for them to hurry it up and procreate so they could coo over the gorgeous children.

The wolf inside whimpered.

Jacob gulped, feeling sick.

Tanya giggled, and Edward's laughter joined her.

Jacob reached into his pocket and pulled out his mobile phone, dialing a number.

It rang.


"Hey, Embry." Even though Embry had started calling and talking to Jacob again, this was the first time Jacob had called him. "Can we hang out?"

"Something happened." Embry frowned. "The neutral zone?"

"The neutral zone." Jacob nodded, jumping down from the tree with ease. Dropping the phone, he pulled off his shirt and let it fall on the ground next to it, his fingers playing with the buttons of his shorts as he turned towards the forest.

"Jake!" Edward squeaked. "What are you doing?"

Jacob turned towards his boyfriend, beginning to lower his fly, surprised to see Edward and Tanya closer than they'd been before he'd made the call. "What?"

Tanya still hung onto Edward's arm, but her gaze was on Jacob.

Or better said-on Jacob's abs.

Her gaze lowered, to the vee of his shorts, where he'd been undoing them. "Don't stop on account of us."

Edward sent her a glare. "Behave Tanya."

She ignored him, letting go of Edward's arm to go to Jacob, looking as if she would have launched herself on him but stopping, making up her nose. "Why does such a scrumptious guy have to smell like wet dog?"

Jacob was proud at how he kept his face emotionless at that. "We can't have it all."

Tanya pouted before turning to Edward. "How can you stand the scent?"

Edward raised an eyebrow. "I don't notice it anymore, just like he doesn't notice our scent anymore."

"Unbelievable." Tanya murmured, before visibly holding her breath and going towards Jacob, taking in a deep whiff of his scent. "It must be love."

Edward smiled, eyes on Jacob. "Yeah, it is."

Jacob couldn't keep his large, toothy grin from appearing.

Tanya sighed longingly, eyes on the area right beneath Jacob's navel that was visible now that his buttons were undone and his zipper pulled down.

Jacob could smell the arousal.

Edward growled.

Jacob chuckled, and with that he dropped his shorts and transformed.

Somehow after that he easily managed to get through the rest of the Denali coven's visit.


"So, how are things going with the Cullen boy?" Billy Black had yet to call Edward by his name.

"Fine." Jacob smiled as he sat down next to his father's wheelchair, looking out at the sunset. They were currently on the Cullen's land, since Jacob was still banned from Rez land.

"You still...feel the same for him?" It was hard for Billy to accept that his son had not only fallen in love for a vampire-but that the vampire was male. Still, he was trying, and that was all Jacob could really ask for.

"Yeah." Jacob nodded, looking up at the sky. "I imprinted on him dad, that's not going to change any time soon."

Billy nodded with a sigh. "And what about him? He hasn't imprinted on you."

"Unless we imprint on another wolf, our partner is never going to imprint back on us." Jacob reminded. "And imprinting on another wolf-that's never happened before."

"True." Billy had to agree with that. "But none of us have ever imprinted on our mortal enemy before either." There was a pause. "I don't want you hurt, son."

Jacob looked up at his father, hearing the genuine concern in his voice. "I know dad, and I'm grateful that you worry about me." He patted his old man's leg. "I know that being with Edward is a constant risk, there's always a chance for failure...but he's worth it."

Billy made a face. "I hope he feels the same way for you that you do for him. Because truce or no truce, if he hurts you, I will have him killed."

Jacob looked away and down.

Even if Edward broke his heart Jacob knew he wouldn't allow anyone to hurt the vampire.

It was a sobering realization.


"That movie sucked." Embry announced with a sneer as his arm went around Bella's shoulder.

"It wasn't bad." Bella defended.

"It was." Edward had to agree with the werewolf, arms around Jacob from behind, thumbs inserted in Jacob's jeans pockets. "Did you see the vampires' faces when they 'shifted' or whatever they called it?"

"Who cares?" Embry wanted to know. "The werewolves looked like shit! All fuzzy and stupid!"

Jacob and Bella exchanged smirks as their boyfriends began to bitch about the way their species had been portrayed in the movie.

It was interesting to see how Edward and Embry had gotten used to each other. They weren't exactly friends, but that didn't keep them from talking-a lot-and Bella and Jacob were sometimes silent for twenty minutes straight as they listened to those two argue or debate.

Bella turned to Jacob, a mischievous smile on her face. "That wizard was so hot."

Jacob smirked. "So was the demon."

"Oh my god yes!" Bella exclaimed a little too loudly. "I never thought I'd find horns-."

"So appealing." Jacob agreed with a throaty chuckle.

The best friends shared a look that said volumes about how much they wanted to rub those horns.

Twin growls caused them to look at their boyfriends.

One's skin was rippling, face more animalistic.

The other's eyes had gone pitch black.

"Baby, baby." Bella turned in towards her boyfriend, wrapping her arms around his waist and pressing a kiss to his chest. "If you had horns, I'd wanna rub them too."

Embry suddenly gave her a very dirty smile.

Bella went red and looked down, nearly tripping on her own feet.

Embry kept her standing, smiling tenderly at her. "Isabella Call, I'm going to kiss you now and make you forget all about those idiots and their bad makeup and costumes."

She looked up at Embry in an embarrassingly besotted way. "Yay."

And then Embry made good on his promise.

Jacob watched them silently.

They were so happy, so sure of each other.

The only worries they really had were teenaged involved-the wolf in Embry making him devoted and faithful and...and Bella knew she was imprinted on. She knew that she was now Embry's whole world. She knew that as long as they both were alive, he'd adore and cherish her, and never look at someone else.

He envied her that certainty.

Edward's grip on Jacob's hips tightened, pulling him harder into him, his lips brushing against Jacob's earlobe as he spoke, his voice a husky whisper. "How about I buy me some plastic horns and get you to stroke them?"

Jacob couldn't be blamed for his smile growing lecherous.


The graduation party was in full swing, with the whole graduating class, Charlie Swan, Billy, Rachel and Rebecca Black (along with their respective boyfriends), and Embry Call in attendance. The vampires in the house were surprisingly enough in their element, the younger ones dancing and talking to the graduating class, while Carlisle and Esme kept Billy and Charlie company, the four seeming to be having a surprisingly good time together.

Bella slow-danced happily in Embry's arms, the wolf obviously enjoying himself tremendously, while still keeping an eye on her, making sure his date didn't trip up on anything or bump into someone or just do something Bella-ish which usually ended up with her getting hurt.

"So." Jacob sent a look in Edward's direction as they escaped the music and people, laying on the roof of the house, gazing at the stars. "The University of Alaska?"

Edward smiled, tracing yet another constellation Jacob couldn't make out with his finger.

Jacob chuckled, shaking his head. "It's going to be surreal, you and I having our own house for the first time."

"I can't wait." Edward sighed in relief. "I love my family, but I can't wait until I don't have to share you with everyone."

Jacob sent him an amused look. "I'm not a toy."

"Exactly." Edward replied, gaze on the sky. "You're something precious to be taken care of...and I'll end up damaging you unintentionally if my family and I keep playing tug of war using you as the rope."

"I'm tougher than a normal human-I can take it." Jacob announced smugly. "And I don't mind a couple of bruises."

Edward's smile grew as he turned on his side to look at his lover.

Jacob looked over at him and then laughed. "Dream on."

"But with the noise downstairs no one is going to hear." Edward promised.

Jacob snorted and shook his head. "No way. My dad is down there."

Edward winced. "That reminder was enough to kill the mood."

"Exactly." Jacob turned so that he was lying on his stomach on the roof.

Edward watched him, and then chuckled, shaking his head. "Tanya was right, you know. So was Jessica."

Jacob frowned, turning to look at his boyfriend, heckles raising. "What do you mean?"

"If you hadn't realized it before, both of them were...are...your biggest fans." Edward shook his head. "At first I really wanted to tear their throats out, but then they shared a very important fact with me."

Jacob frowned, more confused than defensive right now. "And what would that be?"

"They're yaoi fans."

Jacob tilted his head to the side. "Yaoi? What's that?"

"Same thing I asked." Edward announced. "And then they brought the comics and it all made sense."

Jacob blinked. "I'm lost."

"Jessica's drawing a-I think she calls it a manga-about us-though she doesn't know we're not human so we're probably human in it." Edward admitted. "She's been telling me about the story line of her manga so far during our chemistry lessons, getting my feedback on how we'd relate to certain situations."

"What are you talking about?" Jacob had never felt more confused in his life.

Edward smirked. "Why don't I show you instead?"


By the time Jacob was half-through the yaoi manga, the comic book was thrown to the side and in their eagerness they broke the bed.


"God, I love you." Edward whispered contentedly as they lay on the floor on their mattress, the broken remainders of their bed around them messily.

"Me too." Jacob loved the scent of sex and sweat as he curled into Edward.

The party was still in full swing below them.

Neither cared, wrapped up in post coital glow.

"I can't wait till its just you and me." Edward smiled, closing his eyes as Jacob lay with his head resting on the curve of the vampire's inner arm. "No more sharing you with Dad, mom, Rosalie, Emmett, Alice, Jasper, Bella, Embry, your father, everyone from school-."

He continued to list off the names of the people he wouldn't be sharing Jacob with.

Jake smiled as he listened to his possessive lover. "But in Alaska we'll meet more friends and you're going to have to share me with them. And anyway, the Denali coven are in Alaska, and you know they'll want to visit us from time to time."

There was silence, and then Edward hissed, cursing his inability to keep people from trying to 'steal' his Jacob.

Jacob smiled, leaning in and pressing a kiss to Edward's neck as the vampire seethed, already beginning to worry about potential 'rivals' and other such nonsense that Jacob found amusing, annoying, and somewhat heartwarming.

He understood the feeling, since he too worried about what Alaska might bring them, and if somewhere there might change the way Edward felt for him...but he refused to say so out loud-not that he'd have been given the opportunity with Edward seething nonstop.

So the werewolf closed his eyes to the sound of his lover ranting jealously about something that sounded like 'And you still keep in contact with James'...

Jacob fell asleep with a smile on his face.
28th-Jul-2010 05:01 am (UTC)
I was jumping soo much I ended up on the floor! I LOVE IT!!

Stalking works Will continue to pray for the sequal to start!
28th-Jul-2010 05:17 am (UTC)
YAY! I"m so happy you enjoyed it! I wrote it with you in mind so that means a lot to hear!

lol. hope you didn't hurt yourself too badly when you ended up on the floor!
28th-Jul-2010 05:27 am (UTC)
I'll probably feel it tomorrow. Im too excited to care at the moment. I'm so glad you getting back into Twilight mode.
hopefully this would lead to the sequal, which we must admit its my dream, so many unawswerd questions, fluff, action, love,friendship, family, goodies,::sigh::


off to re-read it!
28th-Jul-2010 05:33 am (UTC) - Just lovely
"They're yaoi fans."

This line made me laugh so hard and I'm curious as to what Jessica's manga depicted (in my head it'd be a historical manga where Edward is like a Lord and Jacob is his butler or maybe Jacob is a foreign prince and Edward is a tourist...and I could go on). Thank you for sharing! It's great to see the boys so possessive...it's endearing in a way because they really do love each other (and they don't want to share).
28th-Jul-2010 01:02 pm (UTC) - Re: Just lovely
haha, I'm so glad you enjoyed the reference....

And you are so *right* it most probably something like those examples. *grins* Now Im going to be thinking about that fictional Jakeward manga.
28th-Jul-2010 06:25 am (UTC)

Heh. Awesome sauce! Love the idea of a succubus being a Yaoi fan, and *Rosalie* being the voice of reason and compassion when Jake was worried...

btw- Sequel to OF IMPRINTING AND SUCH?! Oooh, can't wait!!
28th-Jul-2010 01:10 pm (UTC)
Yep, I see Rosalie and Jacob actually getting along for some reason. I don't know why, but I just do. lol. And Tanya...she looks the kinky type who'd appreciate watching two hunky guys in love. lmao

Yep. I'm supposed to be writing that sequel...hasn't happened yet...but I'm *trying* get myself in the mindframe to write it.
28th-Jul-2010 06:34 am (UTC)
I've never read a Ed/Jake fic quite like this one which I loved to death.
28th-Jul-2010 01:12 pm (UTC)
Thanks! I'm really happy to hear that!

I've always written jealous!Edward, and so I decided I needed to write some insecure!Jacob just to make things a little different.

Though, I must say it, I *still* prefer jealous!Edward :)
28th-Jul-2010 07:02 am (UTC)
Oh goodness this was great. I love seeing both our boys possessive over one another.

I would so buy Jessica's yaoi starting Edward and Jacob.

*He continued to list off the names of the people he wouldn't be sharing Jacob with.*-*Giggles.* Oh I do love possessive Edward the best.

*There was silence, and then Edward hissed, cursing his inability to keep people from trying to 'steal' his Jacob.*- Poor Edward he just can't seem to win, there will always be someone wanting to steal Jacob from him.

*So the werewolf closed his eyes to the sound of his lover ranting jealously about something that sounded like 'And you still keep in contact with James'...*- Edward would have a big problem with Jacob been friends with James, not that I mind, I love the James/Jacob pairing.
28th-Jul-2010 01:14 pm (UTC)
This was more emotional and less comical than I intended, but somehow it felt right---so I'm glad you enjoyed.

So would I! *anyone with drawing skills out there?* lmao

Isn't he the sexiest/funniest? I love me some possessive!jealous!Edward---as you probably can tell with my stories. lol

Yep. So Edward will have to keep on his toes---though Jacob would never go with anyone else.

Yes! Edward *so* has a problem with James (though I agree with you. I'm kinda partial to Jacob/James myself and have considered writing a oneshot for them).
28th-Jul-2010 07:16 am (UTC)
I enjoyed the fic! x3
28th-Jul-2010 01:15 pm (UTC)
I'm so happy to hear that! Thanks for reading!
28th-Jul-2010 08:59 pm (UTC)
This so sedated by want for the sequel to Imprinting and Such
I've missed you're writing *hugs*
28th-Jul-2010 09:03 pm (UTC)
*hugs back* Im so happy you enjoyed this, hon! I feel ashamed for how long it's taken to write the sequel, but I just havent been inspired. thanks for the patience!
28th-Jul-2010 09:19 pm (UTC)
I know what you mean I havent updated my fics in like month.
take all the time you ned ill be waiting
7th-Aug-2010 09:04 pm (UTC)
Dam this is really good, amazing job. Please more ;)
7th-Aug-2010 11:28 pm (UTC)
Thank you, am glad you enjoyed!
8th-Aug-2010 07:12 am (UTC)
You might be interested in writing for my site First Light. It's an Interactive Fan Fiction Site. Same concept as regular fiction but the story is written with your name as the main character, you can also add friends and other elements to the story. I have Twilight, Taylor Lautner, Jonas Brothers, Justin Bieber and General stories on there now. Just email me if your interested
8th-Aug-2010 10:30 am (UTC)
I shall check it out :)
9th-Aug-2010 06:01 pm (UTC)
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