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The Taming Of The Prat 7/? 
7th-Aug-2010 10:28 am
Merlin ILU

Title: The Taming of the Prat
Pairings: Merlin/Arthur, Lancelot/Gwen
Rating: M
Disclaimer: Don't own
Summary: When Merlin has Uther's son hoisted onto him in a last ditch effort to 'straighten Arthur out', Merlin's world is turned upside down by the blonde arse, who makes him confused one minute, want to kill him the next, and reluctantly aroused the next...

Merlin was halfway to the pet store when he finally realized what 'reward system' Arthur had been referring to, and it was a good thing he out of eyesight from the bookstore otherwise Arthur would have never let him live down tripping on air and falling on his arse in the middle of the walkway. The boy had managed to pick himself up and somehow get to his job in one piece, confused and dazed, not exactly sure how to react to what had been suggested. He knew, obviously, that Arthur harbored some sort of backwards attraction to him. The morning in the bed was enough to prove that there was a spark there, but this guy was a player and he didn't...

Merlin cleared his throat, going through the rest of his day in a daze.

He made countless errors, tripped a couple of times, and jammed his finger in the cash register twice.

Lancelot's words rung in his ear.

Arthur's similar ones followed right after.

This was a sign.

It had to be.

For the good of Arthur's well-being Merlin was going to have to snog him.


Daily even if that were the case.

Merlin gulped.

He-he was an adult.

He could----snog----with no strings attached.

Merlin's gaze went to the phone.

He should wait until they were home alone.

He really should.

He reached for the phone and looked around.

The shop was empty.

Merlin dialed the number.

"Freya's Very Cool Collection Of Books You Didn't Realize You Needed Or Wanted Until You Came Inside And Took A Look." Arthur droned out in a bored fashion, somehow making that mouthful Freya refused to rename seem easy to say. "Arthur speaking. How may I be of service?"

"Were you serious?" Merlin narrowed his eyes. "About the reward system?"

"Merlin?" Arthur asked in surprise. "Is this you?"

"Were you serious?"

There was a pause. "Are you considering it?"

Merlin frowned. "Would it work?"

There was another pause. "You are considering it."

Frustrated and a little embarrassed, Merlin hung up.

His cellular rung.

He looked down and pulled it out from his apron, seeing PRAT flashing on his Caller I.D.

He answered it. "Yes?"

"We need to get together to arrange the conditions and such." Arthur announced, voice pure business.

"Conditions?" Merlin asked, bemused.

"See you home." And with that Arthur hung up.

Merlin blinked, and looked at his cellular.

It rang again, but this time the name read: MORGANA.

Merlin blinked.

He hadn't given Morgana his phone number.

Merlin's eyes widened when he remembered Morgana taking so long while programming her number into his. Obviously she'd called herself for a split second to get his number.

That was devious.


"Hello Merlin, we just got a call from Uther Pendragon's secretary saying that he wants us to come to the studio to do a live performance for him." Morgana announced in lieu of a greeting. "Should we be celebrating or is this some plot of his to get in our knickers?"

Merlin snorted in amusement. "It's legit----though I'm sure he wouldn't be adverse to getting in your knickers. He is a man after all, and you are all very beautiful."

"Both quiet true." Morgana hummed. "What about you, though, Merlin? Do you wanna get in my knickers?"

Merlin went red and choked on saliva.

Morgana giggled before hanging up.

Merlin looked at his phone.



Uther leaned back in his chair looking at a picture of a pregnant Igraine. It'd taken so many years for him to be able to take out her pictures and hang them around the house again. And now that his intense agony at her loss had dimmed to a dull sadness, Uther had to think, once again, what a fuck up he was. The man sighed as he traced the line of her protruding stomach, thinking of how different things would have been if he'd pulled things together so many years earlier.

He could have a son right now.

Or, at least, a son that didn't detest him.

Uther sighed.

The money Arthur had owed the loan shark really hadn't been that much, not by Pendragon standards at least, but Uther was glad that it'd been more than Arthur's allowance alone could cover. It'd been Uther's bargaining chip, and it meant that Uther had placed the boy under Merlin's care.

He paused, wondering how Merlin was doing.

He would usually call and demand a lunch together, but Uther wasn't sure how to handle things now that Arthur was in the mix.

He didn't want the fact that Merlin was friends with him turn Arthur off of becoming his friend.

While he sometimes fantasized that Arthur would turn gay and fall desperately in love with Merlin, thus uniting everyone in one big, happy family, Uther knew not to delude himself. Arthur might have been suspiciously without argument when Uther had told him the condition meant he would have to move in with Merlin, but maybe it was because after that stalking session Arthur didn't know Uther knew about, Arthur had seen something in Merlin that he wanted in himself.

That was the whole idea to this plan of course.

Though, of course, if Arthur did magically begin preferring cock to cunt Uther would gladly point out some choice orphanages after the right amount of waiting period.

Uther did need another heir since Arthur didn't seem to have any plans of running the record label...and who better than a grandchild he'd helped choose?

He'd be a better grandfather than a father, Uther reckoned.

Of course, if Arthur continued to be straight Uther hoped that Merlin would help refine Arthur's taste in women so that the woman he ultimately married and had a child with would be a lady Uther wouldn't detest inviting into his home-and who he could be proud to call a daughter.

And he'd helped Merlin and whatever bloke was smart enough to snatch him up adopt, if only because he knew Hunith would never forgive Merlin if he didn't bring her any grandchildren to dote on.

"Sir, Lady of the Lake have arrived." His assistant's voice announced through the intercom.

Uther put down the picture of Igraine, and sighed.

Time to put his Game Face on and face the music...literally.


Hunith was going over the photos again.

But not the baby photos.


In the Advent of the Great Party she'd pulled out a private collection, one no one but herself knew she had.

It was the Chronicles of Merlin's Heartbreaks.

So what if there were only two men who'd broken her baby's heart?

That was enough to be chronicled.

In detail.

Because Hunith had always gone a little overboard when it came to scrap-booking-and her son.

So the Chronicles had in detail everything about the two men who'd broken her boy's heart.

There was Will.

The scoundrel.

Stolen her boy's innocence he had-Hunith bet he (nor Merlin) knew that little piece of information but she did because she was a mother and she knew everything.

She reached for a pickle and dipped it in the chocolate sauce before nibbling on it, eyeing the scrapbook.

Will Ealdor was a trouble maker from the start, but he'd made friends with Merlin during the time of Balinor's death when a solitary Merlin really didn't have anyone his age to lean on, and so Hunith had let his mischief slide. She'd noticed the growing difference between the relationship between the boys but had kept her silence, even when she found suspicious stains on the bed sheets and such. Merlin being homosexual had always been a suspicion of hers and she'd accepted that side of him fully, but she hadn't known if Will was the best person to be homosexual with.

And apparently, Will had felt the same way.

After two years of being more than just friends, Will had broken it off, saying that he just really wasn't gay.

With a 'we can still be mates' he'd gotten himself a girlfriend, and Hunith had had to watch her son suffer through his first heartache.

She still gave Will and his pig-nosed boyfriend-stealing wife the evil eye whenever she saw them.

Hunith frowned as she reached the middle of the large scrap-book.

Part two.

Edwin Muirden.

She sighed.

Now there was a boy with a sob story.

Merlin had met the medical student in his first year of uni.

She'd known something was up when all of a sudden his conversations with her consisted of Edwin this and Edwin that, but she'd waited for Merlin to make the big news about falling in love with the boy who had the tragic past and needed someone stable and loving in his life. Edwin's parents had died in a tragic fire that he'd only barely managed to get out of, and he'd spent his childhood being shoved from one foster family to the other, and Merlin was a tender heart, unable to bear the thought.

Hunith had to admit that the story had touched her heart too, and she'd welcomed him as she had once done with Will.

And like his predecessor, Edwin had broken her boy's heart.

After only a couple of months of living together Edwin asked Merlin to move out, saying that he'd found someone else who treasured him and understood him better than Merlin ever could, and that this other person was the one. Merlin had been devastated, it was the first time she'd actually seen her soon piss-drunk.

So when, a month later, she found out that this 'soulmate' of Edwin's had been cheating on him the whole time and had left him for someone else, Hunith didn't deny that she'd sneered in vicious vindication.

Even Kanen had felt viciously happy at the news.

Merlin never commented on it.

Hunith sighed, closing the book.

Of course, there was Lancelot in that list of heartbreaks, but Hunith really couldn't hold it against him because the boy had never really known that Merlin had been in love with him. Lancelot was sweet, charming, loyal, noble, and terribly straight. It'd been obvious from the first moment she'd laid eyes on him. She'd known he'd break her boy's heart, and yet she'd also known that Lancelot was the type of guy to cherish a friendship and was one of those terribly old-fashioned souls who would die for a friend if he had to.

She adored him almost as much as Merlin did.

Of course, she'd felt saddened when she realized that upon meeting each other for the first time that Lancelot and Gwen had fallen truly, madly, deeply in love (like the song-which she played whenever they were over) but she couldn't hold it against them. Especially not when Gwen came to talk to her in private. Gwen didn't have a mother and had spent her childhood coming to consider Hunith as her mother as well (which Hunith only encouraged), and Gwen had confessed to being in love with Lancelot, and his asking her to be his girlfriend, but she'd cried that she couldn't because of Merlin's obvious feelings for him.

Merlin obviously thought he was being completely sneaky in hiding his feelings, but Hunith and Gwen had known him since forever, and while Hunith had known it would hurt her son, she'd told Gwen to accept Lancelot. Because Lancelot wasn't the boy for her son-but she knew without a doubt that Lancelot was the boy for Gwen.

And Merlin had admitted that a couple of times, how utterly perfect they were for each other.

Of course, he'd looked miserable at the time, and Hunith had felt horrid for her part in Gwen and Lancelot getting together, but now Hunith had some hope.

Because Merlin wasn't idolizing Uther's boy like he had Will, Edwin, and Lancelot in turn.

He was seeing him as a human, full of faults and problems.

And yet, from what she'd heard from Lancelot and Freya, Merlin was obviously very much attracted-even if he was in denial about it.

And both Freya and Lancelot had admitted that yes, Arthur was a total arse, but something shifted in him when he was around Merlin.

And his eyes always seemed to follow him.

And Hunith couldn't help but think of fate and such things she got called sentimental about.

She dipped the pickle into the chocolate sauce again.

She had a good feeling about Arthur Pendragon.
(Deleted comment)
7th-Aug-2010 03:48 pm (UTC)
:) Hopefully you'll enjoy!
7th-Aug-2010 03:50 pm (UTC)
OMG, you update it. I am SO happy. A huge smile is on my face.
"Reward system"? I am still a bit confused on what exactly it is. Maybe we will know later?
Uther, OMG, I love him so much. I love him for his love for Arthur. I LOVE him for wishing Arthur and Merlin together. He is such a cool man.
Hunith, I love her always. Yes, you are right, it is a fate thing. Arthur and Merlin, destiny and always & forever.
So, now almost everyone can feel the undeniable, deep love between Arthur and Merlin. I just wander when they two will realize it.
Finally, thank you and thank you so much. Please update soon and write as long as possible. Maybe until Arthur and Merlin get married? That'll be so cool.
7th-Aug-2010 03:58 pm (UTC)
It refers to the time when Merlin told Arthur that his kisses were 'rewards' :)
Uther's had some years to realize what he did wrong and want desperately to try and make things right with his son.
With Hunith I wanted to show Merlin's not so lucky past with guys and *why* he's very hesitant and wary when it comes to relationships, especially if it were with a prat like Arthur.
7th-Aug-2010 04:05 pm (UTC)
I'm really glad you updated! Hunith and Uther were adorable in this part, already planning the romance between their children =D. I can't wait to see Merlin's reward, I love this story!
7th-Aug-2010 04:07 pm (UTC)
SO happy to hear that!
I enjoyed writing the parents parts :)
7th-Aug-2010 04:39 pm (UTC)
yay for a new update ! =D

I love how the chapter started this time, lots of laughter especially when Merlin finally understands the meaning of the "reward system" ! XD I can easily see his reaction, being totally oblivious walking in the street than going all "Oh....OH !!!!!" and then falling XD

And of course I loved the phone call with Arthur just after that:
"Were you serious?" Merlin narrowed his eyes. "About the reward system?"

"Merlin?" Arthur asked in surprise. "Is this you?"

"Were you serious?"

There was a pause. "Are you considering it?"

Merlin frowned. "Would it work?"

There was another pause. "You are considering it."

Frustrated and a little embarrassed, Merlin hung up.

His cellular rung.

He looked down and pulled it out from his apron, seeing PRAT flashing on his Caller I.D.

He answered it. "Yes?"

"We need to get together to arrange the conditions and such." Arthur announced, voice pure business.

"Conditions?" Merlin asked, bemused.

"See you home." And with that Arthur hung up.

I just love how it goes, Arthur understanding what Merlin means and then going all business like about it. I really can't wait to see how this will go in the next chapter ! ^^

Then Morgana's call had me laughing so hard especially what she said before hunging up XD This must have been quite an embarassing for Merlin XD

I loved the bit about Uther taking out Ygraine's pictures again and his thoughts about how he had messed things up with Arthur. We can really see the broken man there and it made me feel sorry for him... Oh and of course I love the fact that he hoped Arthur would be with Merlin and then adopt a child, Awww I really hope it'll end like that.

Hunith and Merlin's heartbreak was my fave bit in this chapter. Especially when she was thinking about Merlin and Lancelot ... Poor Merlin *hugs him tight* now I swear I'll get really angry if Arthur makes it in that book ! Merlin has suffered enough, he deserves happiness and well it's Destiny after all

And once again, my review went a bit strange XD
But I totally enjoyed the new chapter =D Really can't wait the talk about the reward system btw them haha. Oh and Yeah Merlin I totally approve on the lots of snogging bit but maybe a bit more would be even better ^^
7th-Aug-2010 04:49 pm (UTC)
Oh--don't say that! I loved your review! Made me smile idiotically. :)
Yep, merlin's clumsy enough to do that!
I'm so happy you enjoyed it---and Morgana's call. I just think she'd be mischievous like that!
And Hunith, yep, I wanted to show that Merlin's been hurt, and that's why he's so reluctant and wary.
7th-Aug-2010 06:58 pm (UTC)
chocolate and pickles
Hunith is so very much pregnant.

Morgana is awesome

I want more Arthur/merlin conversations

I look forward to the discussion of the "rewards system"
7th-Aug-2010 07:03 pm (UTC)
Someone told me they craved that and ate that during their pregnancy...and I didn't believe them until they showed me how much they enjoyed it. I felt so *sick* yet fascinated lmao
7th-Aug-2010 07:13 pm (UTC)
I loved Hunith having such a photo album and hoping the best for her son. Very sweet.
7th-Aug-2010 07:23 pm (UTC)
Thanks, I just see Hunith as having a detailed knowledge of her son's love life. lol
7th-Aug-2010 07:24 pm (UTC)
mmm pickle in chocolate sauces sounds ... delicous -:p

Awesome chapter ... I love how HUnith is a total Stalker!Mom hahaha
7th-Aug-2010 07:54 pm (UTC)
7th-Aug-2010 08:32 pm (UTC)
LOL I'm an idiot that's official. Everytime I want to comment I look for the "review" link and then I remember it's lj.....every time.

Said that
You made my tiring work-day all bright although all this talking about snogging and no action, you tease u_u.
Poor Merlin what a sacrifice, a sign of a true heart.
Snog him to make him a better person, Merlin!
Snog him for all us perverts because seriously we have to get by in shitty days!
7th-Aug-2010 08:40 pm (UTC)
GRINS. That used to happen to me at the beginning.
Ah! Im' so happy to know that!
Yes, I tease. lol
I know right! The *things* poor Merlin has to do for the good of humanity! lmao
8th-Aug-2010 12:24 am (UTC)
you know where it hurts most to leave it hanging don't you?
8th-Aug-2010 04:13 am (UTC)
Course i do lol ;p
8th-Aug-2010 03:41 am (UTC)
'For the good of Arthur's well-being Merlin was going to have to snog him.'

Ha! Yes, Merlin, you must :D

I love this story, it makes me smile so much.

8th-Aug-2010 04:13 am (UTC)
thank you so much for enjoying it!
8th-Aug-2010 04:06 am (UTC)
I can't wait for the implementation of the reward system *grin*
8th-Aug-2010 04:13 am (UTC)
it shall be soon!
8th-Aug-2010 07:06 am (UTC)
I loved this look into Uther and Hunith's thoughts on Merlin and Arthur. I like how everyone is so hopeful about them. :) And I was amused by Merlin's delayed reaction about what Arthur meant by the reward system. ;)

"Both quiet true." Morgana hummed. "What about you, though, Merlin? Do you wanna get in my knickers?"

^ That made me LOL. Oh, Morgana. Poor Merlin. :P

I'm looking forward to the next chapter! I enjoyed reading this one. :)
8th-Aug-2010 10:30 am (UTC)
I'm happy you enjoyed :)
(Deleted comment)
9th-Aug-2010 01:58 am (UTC)
It will be interesting to write them together and see how they unfold on paper :)
10th-Aug-2010 05:21 am (UTC)
Where to start? I loved this whole update....
I loved the phone call between the boys but I have to admit what really got me laughing is how Arthur was programed as PRAT as well as the book store name... lol have to love Freya....

Uther is a slash fan too!!! *Dances* lol looks like the Slash Dragon isn't the only one lol I always wondered why Uther's idea of a reward was to put Merlin at his son's side.... as well as the scene in the Armory when Uther questions Merlin about WHY he's so loyal to his son ^_- he certainly had no objections about Merlin going beyond the line of duty for Arthur lol

Hunith, I love you!!! The Scrapbook is the best.... she had me rolling, she's always seemed like the overprotective mother that notices more then she lets on. I now want to try pickles and chocolate sauce..... Idk it just sounds like one of those things that you have to try to officially live... I mean I've had worse when expiramenting as a kid with random food lol rice and ketchup were always a favorite of mine, still are

I was so waiting for the appearance of Lady of The Lake ^_^ and it is soooooo like Morgana to get Merlin's number just incase he doesn't call her soon enough.... Morgana has always and I think will always e my favorite character when it comes to Arthur/Merlin slash stories... her character is so much fun to play with, but Mordred and Lancelot are right up there with her. they're great additions to the stories :)

Forgive my babbling.... but today was the first day of band camp and we go from noon to nine ALL day so I really needed this update more then you could ever know ^_^ you always bring a smile to my face

Amazing as always and I am once again happily awaiting more from your briliant mind
10th-Aug-2010 12:10 pm (UTC)
I'm so glad you enjoyed! And I always wondered as well *why* uther thought making merlin arthur's manservant would be a *reward*. lol

Morgana is one of my favorite characters no matter *what* and I enjoy her evilish mischief. :)

have a great time at band camp! What instrument do you play if you don't mind me asking?
15th-Aug-2010 07:19 pm (UTC)
well, band camp is over, i have sweat off half of my weight and I have merely two weeks until our first game... But I play Mellophone (silver, looks like a trumpet with a BIG bell, french horn sound) AND WE GOT DOG TAGS THAT SAY OUR SCHOOL NAME, OUR NAME AND WHAT INSTRUMENT WE PLAY!!! and I don't mind at all ^_^ you are the one controling the stories that I am absolutely addicted to... it's just like crack only with slashy goodness and is legal
16th-Aug-2010 12:47 am (UTC)
Wow, I've always been a sucker for dog tags so I'm kinda envying you right now! :)
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