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The Taming Of The Prat 11/? 
30th-Jun-2011 12:14 pm
merlin/arthur---modern couple

Title: The Taming of the Prat
Pairings: Merlin/Arthur, Lancelot/Gwen
Rating: M
Disclaimer: Don't own
Summary: When Merlin has Uther's son hoisted onto him in a last ditch effort to 'straighten Arthur out', Merlin's world is turned upside down by the blonde arse, who makes him confused one minute, want to kill him the next, and reluctantly aroused the next...

Merlin had had to cancel attending the party for Lady of the Lake, but had sent a bouquet of roses for each girl to be delivered to where the event would take place. He was mildly intrigued and curious about this brother of Morgana's who supposedly liked what he'd seen...but there were more pressing matters to take care of, namely the contract. Arthur had taken it away before he could finish reading it, and Merlin would not sign a document he hadn't read completely through, thus he'd cancelled on the party (calling Morgana to let her know that pressing matters had come up and he had to miss out on the party) and was spending the night in the flat. Arthur had gone out with his mates, as it was Friday night and he could get as sloshed as he wanted without having to worry about being hung over the next day for classes or work. Merlin was glad for the absence of his flatmate and...contract partner? Oh well, it gave him the time he needed to go over the contract in peace and write up what he needed to add.

He'd seen off Gwen and Lancelot at the airport that evening, and so he was happy to have something to occupy his mind, otherwise he'd have drowned himself with some sort of liquor and self-pity. If anything, he had to say that this Arthur situation took up most of his time and mind so he didn't have time to worry or fuss or feel sorry for himself. And he had to admit that if anything, some of these conditions and such Arthur stated were somewhat flattering to his ego. Sure, this seemed somewhat backwards or...pornish...but it was also good for his so bruised ego as well, and Merlin had spent the last half hour either gawking in horror at the contract or bursting out laughing.

To say it made for a very interesting read was an understatement.

There were also major edits to be done, and by the time that Arthur's key scraped the lock Merlin was finished, almost asleep on the sofa.

Yawning, the pale man stood and stretched before making his way to the door. He unlocked and opened it causing Arthur, who'd been leaning on its drunkenly trying to fit the key into the lock, to fall forwards into the flat. Merlin just gazed down at the moaning drunkard for a moment before snorting in wry amusement, shaking his head as he closed the door and locked it before planting his hands on his hips.

"Are you always going to come home piss drunk from seeing your friends?"

"M'not drunk." Arthur slurred, stretching on the ground, apparently getting ready to sleep there.

Sighing, wondering why he always felt like he'd had a five year old thrust onto him, Merlin gave Arthur's foot a little nudge with his own. "Oi, get up. You can't sleep on the ground, you'll catch a cold."

"Lies." Arthur assured him, eyes closing.

"Don't do this, mate." Merlin groaned, running lean fingers through his hair. "It didn't end well for me last time, and believe me, if I have to choose between you sleeping on the floor all night or me being pinned under your deadweight all night, I'm bringing you your pillow, a blanket, and leaving your arse on the damned floor."

Arthur chuckled sleepily, rolling on his back to look up at Merlin. "You finished that contract yet?"

"Actually, yeah." Merlin nodded, amused that even this drunk Arthur had that on his mind. "You're insane if you don't think I'm editing that."

"Oh...knew you would." Arthur assured him. "Made it a bit much so that when you did edit it, it'd be more around what I had originally planned anyway."

Merlin blinked, surprised at the cunning forethought he hadn't expected Arthur to have. "Is that so?"

"Course." Arthur scoffed, kicking off his shoes clumsily. "When I fuck you, it's gonna be because you want it, not because of a bloody contract and if I behaved 'exceptionally well'."

Merlin's eyes widened, and he could feel a blush rising up his neck at the certainty in Arthur's voice about a future buggering. "You know," he cleared his throat, bending down on his knees to look those alcohol-hazy eyes dead on. "You're incredibly sure of yourself and of the fact that I will supposedly want you to...screw...me."

"Oh, you will." Arthur hiccuped, shivering a little.

"And how can you be so sure? Huh? Because you're 'everyone's' type?" Merlin wanted to know, getting up and grabbing the blanket he'd been wrapped up in on the couch, draping it over the blonde while also passing him a cushion.

"Nah, that doesn't seem to work on you." Arthur grumbled, resting his head on the cushion. "You're unusually immune to my chest. It's annoying. If it wasn't for the fact that I genuinely like you, my ego wouldn't let me stay in this flat with you any longer."

Merlin's eyes widened, his blush deepening, realizing just how drunk Arthur was. "You like me?"

"I'm making you sign a contract to woo you, Merlin, just how much of an idiot are you?" The blonde groaned, still somewhat of a prat even when drunk. "Seriously, if you weren't so horribly dense and stubborn and pigheaded I wouldn't have to descend to such madness as letting you 'train' me." He pulled the blanket up under his own chin. "M'not a poodle you know."

"Woo." That was the only word that he made out, frozen. "You can't be serious."

"Why not?" Arthur yawned, apparently about to drift off into sleep very soon. "Poor little Arthur, caught in so many vices and with so many troubles not good enough for everyone's golden boy?"

Merlin blinked, because that had never crossed his mind. Actually, it might have been the opposite. He just couldn't see someone like Arthur actually genuinely interested.

"My mates tell me you're too smart to get with me." Arthur informed him, eyes closing. "I told them to fuck off. You're not that smart."

Merlin couldn't help it, he laughed, finding himself sitting on the ground next to Arthur, who was opening up in a way tonight that Merlin knew he wouldn't open up like most probably ever again...unless he found himself this piss-drunk every weekend. "I'm not that smart?"

"Nah." Arthur assured him. "If you were, you wouldn't have let me live with you after the first day."

"Really?" Merlin could understand his logic.

"I'm an arse and I know it. I have very undesirable traits but most people just overlook them because I'm the best looking man they've ever seen and they want to sleep with me. And because I'm rich. Insanely so." Arthur nodded, sighing. "You're the only person who's called me on my shit. It annoys the crap outta me, but it also turns me on."

Merlin lowered his gaze, blush ferocious. "You're masochistic, obviously."

"Prolly." Arthur agreed, yawning once more.

"Arthur you should really sleep on your bed." Merlin tried once more, but all he got as an answer was a loud snore.


"You're never going to guess who I saw the other day." Gwaine Noble mentioned as innocently as he could while having dinner over at his sister's flat.

"Sophia?" Isobel guessed, cutting into her steak, eyeing him curiously. "Has she finally gotten over the fact that you're gay? That she turned you gay?" A pretty and amused giggle followed. "That would be a blow to any girl's ego."

Gwaine looked at his sister and then reached for his goblet of wine, taking and long-long-sip, before speaking. "Actually, I saw Arthur Pendragon."

Isobel's movements froze, and she looked up at her brother. "Oh."

"I was going to get you a pet for your birthday and Uther Pendragon told me about this exotic pet store and I went to see if there was any sort of exotic demon I could buy you." Gwaine cleared his throat. "I was talking to the salesclerk, this really nice and cute guy name Merlin-."

"Merlin?" Isobel blinked. "What an unusual name. Isn't there a falcon or something called that?"

Gwaine nodded.

Isobel smiled. "He sounds like he belongs in an exotic pet store. You know, it's probably the same place Uther was telling me about some months back." She tilted her head. "The guy was cute, you say?" She giggled. "Why didn't you just buy him for me?"

"He's gay, Isobel." Gwaine raised an eyebrow at her.

"Aren't they always?" Isobel despaired, shaking her head, before returning her attention to her food. "So Arthur came in searching for a pet for his newest conquest?"

"Nope." Gwaine shook his head. "He's working in that district."

Isobel looked up immediately, eyes wide. "But there are only shops there!"

"He works at a bookstore." Gwaine informed her. "It's very close to the pet store and...well...he came in to see Merlin. Was very upset to see me there."

"I can imagine." Isobel made a face. "He hasn't really been on good terms with us after...well...after the breakup." She sighed. "Do you think he's still in love with me?"

Gwaine paused, reaching for his glass once more only to find it empty. "I don't think so, Isy." He gazed around the table before reached for her glass and emptying it before finally having the courage to speak. "Isobel Noble, you turned Arthur Pendragon gay."

Isobel's whole body froze, and the utensils fell from her hands to the table and floor.

Gwaine winced, getting up to get more alcohol.

They were both gonna need it.
30th-Jun-2011 06:06 pm (UTC)
OH SWEET JESUS the ENDING shouldn't have been that funny but I found it hilarious poor Isobel what a blow to her ego but come on who could resist merlin and drunk!arhtur is hilarious I can totally picture it
i can't wait for more
i am so glad you updated you have no idea how long ive waitied for the update
30th-Jun-2011 06:20 pm (UTC)
Yep, Isobel was feeling somewhat sorry for Sophia...until Gwaine let the cat out of the bag!
30th-Jun-2011 06:47 pm (UTC)
30th-Jun-2011 07:10 pm (UTC)
"Isobel Noble, you turned Arthur Pendragon gay."


Gave me a huge giggle.

I really liked reading about Arthur opening up to Merlin. Even if he had to be pissed out of his mind to do it.

Can't wait for more!


30th-Jun-2011 07:11 pm (UTC)
Yep, Merlin never would have gotten that little sneak into Arthur's head if he hadn't been completely and utterly sloshed.
30th-Jun-2011 07:23 pm (UTC)
I love drunk Arthur!! And the ending was soo funny. Gwaine is loveable.
30th-Jun-2011 07:25 pm (UTC)
Happy you feel that way hon, I enjoy writing him! He's so...unintentionally funny.
30th-Jun-2011 07:49 pm (UTC)
I love you icon its the epitomoe of merlin and arthur
30th-Jun-2011 07:50 pm (UTC)
Thanks! I got it from the muppet!
1st-Jul-2011 03:02 pm (UTC)
No girl wants to hear that she turned an ex-boyfriend gay. What a blow to the ego. But, Arthur, drunk and talkative, is an absolute hoot. So lovable and sweet, I'm surprised Merlin didn't kiss him right there.
1st-Jul-2011 04:19 pm (UTC)
Merlin was probably too busy laughing and blushing. lol
2nd-Jul-2011 06:37 am (UTC)
I love drunk Arthur and I love your writing. I love every update from you. Thank you, thank you and millions times of thanks. You know I am a crazy fan for this story.
20th-Jul-2011 11:28 am (UTC)
This is sweet. Love how Arthur told his friends that Merlin isn't smart enough to not get with him. It sounds like something he would say. Those boys are <3
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