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How To Tame Your Vampires 20/? 
21st-Feb-2012 01:42 pm
Chlangelike---Angel(us) Chloe Spike

Title: How To Tame Your Vampires
Sequel to: Bloodline
Pairings: Chloe/Angel/Spike, Lois/?
Fandoms: Smallville/Buffy
Rating: M
Disclaimer: Don't own
Summary: Because of the family curse Chloe was supposed to join her cousin in the quest to find a girlfriend in Sunnydale, and yet somehow, instead of a girlfriend, Chloe finds herself living with two 'defective' vampires who both mark their Intent on her neck...and seem to be wrapped around her little finger.

They weren't sure how long it would take the Mohra demons to figure out the Seal of Solomon was no longer an issue and come back to Sunnydale to complete their task, so the next couple of days found the "Fang Gang" (as the Scooby Gang was referring to Lois, Chloe, Angel and Spike) laying low and doing their best to ready themselves for the unbinding spell. Lois and Chloe were quite spent, being the host and the anchor respectively of Makeda had been very draining, and if things had been different they wouldn't even try the unbinding spell till at least a month or so. Sadly they didn't have the time though, and if Lois was to be protected she'd need to be under their roof.

The Scooby Gang kept patrol, the Slayer promising that at the first sign of a Mohra they'd call in and warn them. Peace and harmony had not been achieved between the two factions but they were existing side by side without hostility now and that was a great improvement despite the routine awkwardness. Also, with Mohra demons and whoever was putting the hit on Lois against them, they needed as many allies as they could get.

No one ever brought up the question as to why they didn't feel it necessary to tell Moira about the situation. Maybe they could feel the fact that neither Chloe nor Lois considered her a part of their family, or in the least a part of their support system. Whatever the reason the cousins were grateful.

"She's going to feel it, you know, the moment we unbind the house." Lois leaned heavily against the table in the cafeteria, still visibly drained form being Makeda's host. "Not only is it her spell binding it in the first place, but she's stronger than us. There's no way Aunt Moira won't feel it the moment the binding's destroyed."

Cordelia, who had been sitting at their table more and more lately, looked up from where she was examining her nails. "From what I've heard about her from the two of you, she'll probably be proud you were able to do that. She'll take it as proof that Lois the super!teen!witch she thinks she is."

Chloe gazed down at the food she wasn't eating, knowing it was true. Her mother would just smirk, declaring how she knew Lois could one day surpass the binding, and then would probably make some snide comment about giving up all hope in Chloe surpassing a grade schooler.

"She's not too happy with me right now." Lois surprised them by admitting. "With this whole thing I've been pooped, and our training sessions are intense. I really haven't been stepping up to the plate and she told me last night that I was letting her down."

"Screw her." Chloe murmured, gaze still on her plate. "I'd like to see her Draw Down the Queen of Sheba's spirit after it'd transcended amongst The Powers That Be."

Lois gave Chloe a little smile. "I still don't exactly believe we were able to do that. I mean, had we known she was in the possession of The Powers That be I don't think we would have even tried. That's some serious mojo."

"The hellmouth energy helped." Chloe shrugged.

"I'm still somewhat hazy on what we did in the end that got her to come." Lois admitted, making a face. "I sorta blanked out halfway through the ritual."

Chloe speared the food with her fork and stuffed it into her mouth.

A couple of the Cordettes arrived, including the pretty asian Cordette who hugged her books close to her chest and gave Lois a cute little smile.

Lois immediately pepped, sitting up and sending the girl a lazy smile.

Cordelia looked between the two of them before turning her attention on the Cordettes. "Yes?"

"It's time to go to cheerleading practice." The redhead declared, sending Lois a lingering look.

"We're getting fitted for our new uniforms today, remember?" Harmony reminded, eyes wide, grin bright.

Lois' grin was a dirty, salacious thing as she gazed up at the asian Cordette, her finger tracing the rim of her plate and somehow managing to make that seem utterly pornographic.

The asian hottie bit her bottom lip and blushed, sending Lois a flirtatious look.

Cordelia sighed, standing. "Well, let's go then." She turned to Lois and Chloe, rolling her eyes. "Nothing gets done if I'm not there apparently." She turned to the Cordettes and shooed them away in front of her before taking off after them.

Lois watched them go until they were out of sight before turning to Chloe with a lecherous grin. "So, what do you think about Lynn?"

"Lynn?" Chloe finally had a name to the face. "Other than the whole eye-sex thing going on?"

"You caught onto that too huh?" Lois grinned shamelessly.

"Hard not to. I was about to start fanning myself." Chloe remarked dryly. "When exactly did this happen?"

"The dance." Lois pulled a dark strand behind her ear. "I'm going to ask her out when I'm feeling a hundred percent again. You think she'll say yes? She's been as straight as an arrow up until now."

"Lois, I don't know how else to say this, but you're a curse to heterosexuality." Chloe couldn't keep the teasing expression off of her face. "It would seem that any girl you set your sight on turns gay."

"Oh oh oh it magic, you know..." Lois sang teasingly before going serious and giving Chloe a knowing look. "So...how are things with the vampires?"

"Fine." Chloe had to admit that she was a little uneasy at the lesser degree of arguing going on in her home. "They're being overprotective though."

"Well, good for them." Lois nodded approvingly. "But, you know, I meant how the sex has been."

Chloe's eyes widened and her cheeks darkened as a blush took over her appearance. "There's been no sex. Never sex. No sex." She groaned and covered her face, embarrassed. "Why would there be sex?"

"Why would there be-?" Lois' eyes widened and she looked a mixture of confused and amused. "You mean you were serious that time when you told me you hadn't had sex with either of them? You weren't just trying to protect them from my wrath?"

Chloe peeked at her cousin through her fingers. "It was the truth."

"Oh wow." Lois leaned back in the seat, obviously shocked.

The blonde continued to observe her cousin in silence.

"Honey, if those two hadn't already started winning me over with helping in the whole Solomon/Makeda thing and agreeing to help with the Mohra situation...this has gotten them major points in my books!" Lois turned towards her cousin, shaking her head. "It is not in a vampire's nature to be patient and to not push his issue. With how long you've been living with them and the amount of obvious desire they both demonstrate towards you I was sure you were getting enough kinky action to make porn stars jealous!"

"No!" Chloe closed her eyes tightly.

"Oh wow." Lois laughed softly. "That's fascinating!"

"Shut up." Chloe begged.

"I can't believe you're still a virgin!" Lois hissed, face lit up. "Those two must have themselves chaffed!"

"Lois!" Chloe cried, horrified.

"How exactly far have you gotten?" Lois was not letting up, obviously too enthralled with the topic. "Hand holding? Kissing? Petting? What? And who has gotten the furthest?"

"Lois you animal." Chloe groaned, totally mortified.

"I see Spike as getting further than Angel-but then Angel has been with you longer." Lois was in her own world apparently ignoring Chloe's input. "But despite that Angel seems more of the old school gentleman whereas Spike seems the type to first introduce himself before bending you over a table and screwing your brains out."

"Oh dear god." Chloe whimpered.

"You know, I'd be jealous if it weren't for the fact that I now know I am getting far more action than you."

"What?" Chloe yanked her hands from her face, suddenly interested in the conversation once more. "Who?"

Lois grinned proudly as she began counting on her fingers. "Aura, Aphrodesia, Gwen and Melody."

Chloe blinked, knowing she had heard of these girls before but not exactly sure-. "Oh my god!" Her eyes widened. "You have a Cordette fetish!"

"It's not a fetish." Lois rolled her eyes. "They're just...always around because of Cordy...they're more...accessible."

"Your smile now is creepy." Chloe snorted in amusement.

Lois snorted, shaking her head. "Well, I have to say, I'm kinda getting why guys like women so much." Her expression went dirty. "We are amazing."

Chloe blushed darker, but wasn't too embarrassed to kill her curiosity. "How far have you gotten?"

Lois grinned, leaning closer. "How far haven't I gotten?"

"Oh my..." Chloe cleared her throat, feeling a little hot.

"You'd be surprised at the kinky fantasies those girls have and are too afraid to tell their boyfriends about." Lois smirked before making a face. "But, you know, while that's fun...I'd also like to try something a little more serious."

"You mean like having a girlfriend." Chloe clarified.

Lois nodded. "I want the commitment you seem to have with the fangs...while getting hot monkey sex out of it too." She shrugged. "I don't want to feel cheated I suppose."


Buffy laid with her head on the table in the library, a sigh escaping her lips. So many things had happened since the Solomon/Makeda thing with the Seals, and she had had to get her head around them. Willow was a werewolf for starters, and was trying to get ready for her first full moon. Buffy tried to be her best friend and encourage her and let her know that no matter what she'd be there for her. Oz was doing his strong and silent thing. Giles was haggard trying to use his contacts to find out why Mohra demons had been given a hit on a high school girl who wasn't the Slayer...and Xander, well, Xander was coping incredibly well all things considering.

The Slayer sighed as she spent her lunch period just resting there, lamenting life in general, and mentally conducting the official funeral for her relationship with Angel.

It didn't take a genius, or a relationship expert, to realize that there was no going back to what they'd had before. Maybe they could have had a chance if Chloe hadn't been mixed up in it, but Buffy was smart enough to realize that any relationship the slayer had with a vampire was doomed. It was inviting despair. So maybe it was a good thing that Chloe was around and Angel obviously in love with her.

Even if it hurt Buffy to be reminded of how he so easily moved on from her.

Then again, he'd been tortured for a hundred years in hell...because of her...

Buffy flinched.

Could she really blame him for moving on?

It was high time she did so herself wasn't it?

Except...Scott Hope really might be a little too normal for her tastes.

The Slayer sighed once more.

Maybe hyena-possessed-Xander had had a point when he'd said she liked her men "mean and dangerous". Not so much the mean part, but the dangerous? He might have been onto something there.

"Buffy!" Willow hurried into the room, eyes wide.

"What is it?" The Slayer jumped, hoping that there was something evil out there that needed its ass kicked.

"You're never going to believe this!" Willow grabbed her arm and started yanking her out of the library. "You have to see this with your own eyes!


"So...consequence?" Lois asked as she gazed up at the eclipse in the sky, the sun having darkened leaving the world in perpetual twilight.

All around them the students were standing and whispering, declaring they hadn't heard anything about an eclipse scheduled to happen. That was because it hadn't been. Chloe and Lois both had felt the power-shift around them before the eclipse had started, and had watched the sun's ray slowly being blotted out with bated breath and anxious stomachs. They'd known without a doubt that this was an omen of foreboding.

"One of them at least." Chloe flinched, gazing above her and hugging herself. "It makes sense really. Makeda said that those rings were tied into the Balance somehow. This goes to show how utterly screwy it is at the moment."

"You don't think it's a permanent thing though right?" Lois worried, turning towards her with a frown. "This is Sunnydale. If the eclipse stays...eclipsed...the whole place will be overrun with even more vampires than usual!"

"My thoughts exactly." A new voice declared as Buffy and Willow appeared by their side, Oz, Xander and Giles quickly following suit. "This isn't good."

"But the Balance existed before the rings." Willow worried her bottom lip. "It should be able to exist even after their destruction."

"Has anyone figured out why the rings were made in the first place?" Oz asked casually, as if the weird-ass eclipse wasn't happening.

"I have been trying to find references to their creation," Giles admitted, pushing his glasses up his nose. "But so far I haven't been able to find even one."

"Have you tried the Mordor Chronicles? These babies are probably the second cousins twice-removed of the One Ring." Xander tried, and then flinched at the looks he was getting. "Right. Okay. Jokes bad."

Lois's phone rang and she made a face, bringing the mobile to her ear. "Aunt Moira?"

Chloe flinched, turning to look at her cousin.

"Yes, I see it." Lois sighed as she ran her fingers through her hair in frustration. "Yes, I realize that unplanned eclipses are usually portents of doom." Her gaze went to Chloe. "Yes, I have realized that vampire and demonic activity is going to skyrocket until this phenomena has passed." She closed her eyes. "Patrolling." Her gaze opened and went to Buffy accusingly. "Doesn't this hellmouth have a Slayer? Can't I leave the patrolling up to her? It's not like she has intense magic lessons that she needs to-." Lois sighed. "Of course, you're right, I can't start being weak now." A muscle jumped in her cheek. "There is no weakness in the Carter lineage."

Chloe flinched and looked away.

"I'll be over immediately." Ending the phone call, Lois growled, shaking her head. "Of course Aunt Moira sees this as an indicator that she needs to ride my ass into the ground with intensified training followed by a patrol around the neighborhood." Her gaze returned to Chloe. "She wants special emphasis put onto hunting vampires lately. She's even mentioned two masters by name." A brown eyebrow raised. "Spike and Angel to be exact."

"Why is she all of a sudden fixated on them?" Chloe frowned, remembering her mother's visit. "You don't think she knows they're living with me?"

"Doubt it." Lois shook her head. "Nonetheless, I think it'd be better if they stayed at your place until this is all sorted."

"But we're going to need their help." Willow surprised them by actively talking to them, then again, ever since the Seal situation and noticing Buffy's growing ease with the girls Willow had slowly started opening up as well. "Angel and Spike both have helped us in our last apocalypses...we wouldn't have been able to save the world if it hadn't been for their help."

"They're strong Masters." Giles made a face. "No insulting your mother, but I believe they can handle their own against one witch."

"Especially if they have Sabrina and Glinda on their side." Xander agreed. "You two did Draw Down some High Level spirit, and while I'm not really in the knowing when it comes to hocus pocus G-man tells me that's fancy doohicky."

"I'm going to ask the question no one else has." Oz declared, looking around at everyone before resting his gaze on Chloe. "If your mother is as strong a witch as you say, why don't you tell her what is going on and ask for her help?"

Lois and Chloe shared a wince at the very thought.

"If there's no other choice we'll resort to that." The brunette flinched before turning to the blonde. "I have to go, Aunt M's...well, you heard her." She sighed. "Can you go and find Cordy? Let her know what's happening? She's with the Cordettes and cheerleaders in the gym, probably doesn't have a clue about the eclipse." She sighed. "I'd go tell her myself but Aunt M wants me there immediately...and I don't want Cordy getting into trouble. Could you do that for me?"

"Of course." Chloe nodded, smiling at Lois' worry. "I'll let her know to stay in her home until we can figure out what exactly do to."

"Thanks Chlo." Lois hugged her before hurrying away without a goodbye to anyone.

Chloe turned to Buffy. "I'm going to go find Cordelia and let her know."

Buffy nodded. "I'll find your cousin while she's patrolling, with the Mohra and the increased demon activity going on the both of us will need the backup."

Chloe smiled genuinely at Buffy. "Thank you."

Buffy smiled back at her. "No problem."

The blonde witch turned and hurried back into the school.

Willow smiled proudly at Buffy, hugging her.

Oz appeared serene despite it all.

Giles gazed up at the eclipse with worry.

"So..." Xander cleared his throat. "Since when did Lois and Cordelia start dating?"


"I don't get this whole conversation." Cordelia frowned, uneasy and unhappy as she gazed into Lynn's face. "I obviously hang out with her. She's one of the only non-losers in this whole town."

"I know that. She's very...cool." Lynn giggled as she pulled a strand of dark hair behind her ear. "It's just that the girls and I have been wondering what exactly your relationship is with her. You hang out a lot, like you just said. And, well, you said the other night that you'd slept over her house."

"I still don't see how any of this is your business." Cordelia replied pointblank, her mild annoyance growing. "I've slept over Harmony's and no one decided to give me the second degree then."

"Yes, but, Harmony's different." Lynn replied. "This is Lois Lane we're talking about."

Lynn might be the only one questioning her, but Cordelia could feel the eyes of many of the Cordettes and cheerleaders on her. Some were curious, some were more resentful than usual, and there were a few who were outright hostile. She'd been wondering about the slow change in atmosphere her followers had been experiencing lately, and she'd started to wonder if Lois hadn't something to do with all of it. Now she was almost sure that Lois was smackdab in the middle of this whole situation somehow. Her faithful subjects were starting to question her, and it made her frustrated.

It couldn't be the lesbian thing, because while at first they'd made snide comments about Lois behind her back she'd noticed the way they all seemed to gravitate towards the brunette. It wasn't anything obvious, and it wasn't the same veneration they usually bestowed on Cordelia, but Lois was obviously the cause of this...whatever 'this' was!

"Are you just...friends...with her?" Aphrodesia asked as she stretched.

"Or are you something else entirely?" Aura wanted to know, eyebrow raised, hands on her hips.

"Please, this is Cordelia we're talking about." Harmony rolled her eyes as she played with her hair. "They're obviously only friends. Right, Cordelia?"

Only friends? As opposed to what else? "Of course we're friends."

"See?" Harmony sneered at the others. "You can tell she obviously hasn't even considered it."

Considered what dammit?

"Well, I just think you should maybe not spend so much time with her alone." Gwen declared from where she was fixing her cheerleader uniform. "People might start getting weird ideas about you."

"I agree." Melody smirked, sitting on the bleachers in the gymnasium. "Anthony Rodderick isn't going to ever ask you out if he thinks you're batting for the other team and we all know you and him are going to be Solar King and Queen."

"Totally." Lynn agreed. "A perfect match."

"You think?" Cordelia frowned, wondering why this felt so off all of a sudden.

She was used to being told how perfect she was and how she deserved only the best of the best Sunnydale had to offer, and yet somehow this felt weird.

"Obviously." Harmony declared with a faithful little smile on her face.

"So you need to not hang out around Lois so much for a while." Lynn declared, hurrying before Cordelia could say anything. "And don't worry about her feeling left out or forgotten." She smiled. "I'll keep her company."

"You?" Aura sneered at Lynn. "Why should you be the one to keep her company?"

"Maybe because your boyfriend will get jealous otherwise." Lynn shot back. "I, on the other hand, am completely single."

"Also? You do the asian stereotype shame." Gwen declared, the smile on her face vicious. "You're failing almost all of your classes and need to take makeup classes and such. You won't have the time to dedicate to Lois to keep her from feeling lonely." That smile went even fiercer. "So I should be the one to keep her...entertained."

"Get over yourself Gwen." Aphrodesia rolled her eyes. "We all know how needy Kyle is and like Aura you need to keep your footballer boytoys happy if we've any chance at the championships." She flung some of her red hair behind her shoulders. "I on the other hand am not only single, but I'm not flunking all of my classes. Anyway, she and I get along great." Her smile was...weirdly dirty. "I'll keep her so busy she won't even miss you, Cordelia."

For some reason that made Cordelia frown, not at all thankful for the girls or their offers to 'help' her.

She opened her mouth to let them know that.

The doors opened and Chloe came in, looking around them before jogging towards her. "Hey guys, there's an eclipse happening, you should probably go out and take a look."

"An eclipse?" The girls whispered to themselves before hurrying out.

Cordelia waited for Chloe to reach her side, her voice low as she spoke. "Is this Seal related?"

"We think it might be." Lois' cousin nodded, pulling a blonde strand behind her ear. "Lois had to go see my mother, but she asked me to give you a heads up for her. We don't know how long the eclipse might last, but it'll probably be safer for you to go to your home and stay there."

"But I'm on the dance committee." Cordelia frowned. "We're supposed to meet here at school tonight to plan the Solar Dance. I can't just stay home and let the dance become a disaster. That would be letting evil win!"

"Cordelia, something really bad is probably happening." Chloe sighed. "Lois is going to be distracted if she's worried about you."

Something odd blossomed in Cordelia's chest. "Fine. I'll invite the committee to my home then. We'll do our planning there."

Chloe smiled brightly. "I'll let Lois know."


Angel stared at the eclipse and frowned.

As Angelus he'd always loved eclipses, the ability to walk in the day and cause more havoc and destruction than usual exhilarating, but as the soul Angel worried. He knew that this was somehow connected with the destroying of the Seals. The fact that the consequences had already started so soon after their destruction was also worrisome. They didn't need this coupled with whatever the Mohra's game plan was.

A part of him just wanted to grab Chloe and take her as far away from Sunnydale as possible sometimes, and it worried his soul to realize that the only reason he didn't do that was because she'd hate him for it. He wasn't sticking around to protect the people and all sorts of noble things like that. He was there because he wanted her and was willing to do what he had to to keep her with him both physically and emotionally.

She was his savior, had plucked him out from a hundred years of endless torment. She should have staked him. Should have ended his miserable existence. Instead she'd fed him taken care of him, and brought him back to sanity, back to the amount of humanity he had left.

Chloe was his light in darkness.

"Oi, Ponce." Spike entered the room, frowning. "Lowell just phoned and according to him Bit skipped her last classes."

"What?" Angel stood.

"Apparently she's gone to Willy's." Spike made a face. "Want to swing by and find out exactly what our nummy lickle Nibbles is up to?"

Angel was already grabbing his jacket.
21st-Feb-2012 07:49 pm (UTC)
Man I love your Lois!!!! I laught through the entire Lois/Chloe sex conversation, so great. Lois is right, Chloe really does need to start sleeping with her vampires *grins* I'm also looking foward to Cordy realizing she likes Lois, you have turned me into a huge fan of this pairing. Can't wait to see what happens next.
21st-Feb-2012 08:39 pm (UTC)
Ah, Lois....one of the reasons why I find it nearly impossible to write a Chloe-fic without Lois there is because she's just SO FUN to write! :D And she's right....there needs to be some EPIC!PORN!GOODNESS going on in that house! ... And it will help Chloe to know that Lois wouldn't be horrified as well if something happened. Ah yes, Cordelia...she proves Chloe isn't the ONLY oblivious one in this story!!!!
21st-Feb-2012 09:42 pm (UTC)
God, every time I get ff.net update from you, I am filled with such joy and excitement. And you NEVER disappoint! If a chapter doesn't make me laugh, you're making me cry. If I'm not crying, I'm (insert explicit words here lol). And, if I'm not that, I'm raging and anxious at the cliffhangers you leave. Which is what I'm at right now. How dare you leave if like this! UGH, I can't wait for the next installment! That statement goes towards all your other on-going fics as well!!!!

By the way, are you a Lost Girl fan? I thought you might be, cause its all supernatural, got a superhot main guy and an adorably hysterical girl who sorta reminds me of a season one Chloe :D If you're not, you should seriously check it out. The body-swap episode alone enough reason lol
21st-Feb-2012 10:11 pm (UTC)
This review made me grin so WIDELY :D Thank you so very much!

I have not watched Lost Girl yet, though I've been told its very good and filled with supernatural sexiness...which is always a way to draw me into anything! I'm planning on checking it on soon, especially since all my girl friends are in love with Bo and refuse to stop fangirling about her and her 'awesomeness' *facepalm
22nd-Feb-2012 09:22 pm (UTC)
Don't know why I didn't get a email about your reply but I'm so happy I made you GRIN!!!!! lol

You can tell your fangirl friends they can keep Bo. It's all about the Kenzi! Kenzi is <3 and way sexier than Bo, to me at least. But, then again, I've always had a thing for the snarky sidekick type lol
21st-Feb-2012 09:48 pm (UTC)
more please, i love you ShadowQueen. Seriously you NEED drop your current job and demand CW to give you your own show! Theres no way talent like this should be wasted--> Its SINFUL! LOL! Cant wait for more
21st-Feb-2012 10:08 pm (UTC)
Aw hon! Thats so sweet! Who knows! lol One day you might see my name there on "screenwriters" for the CW's newest hit! ;)
21st-Feb-2012 11:46 pm (UTC)
Great update! Sometimes I just want to kick Moira in the head for how she treats Lois and Chloe. I mean grrrrr! It's really cute though, how Cordelia is finding her feelings for Lois. And Lois! Jeez! She's gonna make it through the whole cheerleading squad before prom! Great job hon!

22nd-Feb-2012 12:10 am (UTC)
Yep! Moira is wearing down everyone's patience and Lois is quite the *stud* lmfao
22nd-Feb-2012 08:31 pm (UTC)
"nummy lickle Nibbles" rofl....
lovely like always...hope for more soon

love, maple86
22nd-Feb-2012 09:04 pm (UTC)
I'm about to post the next chapter now!!!!
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