Sequel to: Toxic
Universe: Toxic Girl Series
Disclaimer: Don't own
Summary: Chloe has been back in Lawrence for two months but is having a very hard time readjusting to normal life and the Winchesters. She's even having a hard time reconnecting with Lois and Lana. It doesn't help that another phase of her mutation is about to start, and she's entirely unprepared for it. Sam's far from ready as well. And then there's the fact that someone from Chloe's past whom she thought was dead...really isn't.
It was hard.
It was damned hard.
"Are you going to go over to the Winchesters later today maybe?" Tess "Mercy" Mercer, her guardian and snarky confidant, wanted to know as she stood in the doorway, leaning her head against the doorframe. "Mary called me the other day...she wanted to make sure you knew that that was your home too...to not be such a stranger."
From where she was slipping on her skirt, Chloe froze for a moment, glad her back was towards Tess thus the redhead couldn't see the glimpse of true terror that came over her face.
Tess sighed, shaking her head. "Chloe, you came back to Lawrence because you wanted to reconnect with them and Lois and Lana...you wanted to live a normal life...but we've been back two months already and you've been over to their house what? Three times?" She sighed. "And the girls, whenever they come over you conveniently aren't home or disappear."
Sighing, Chloe turned towards her guardian. "I can't do this."
"Yes, you can." Tess countered, walking into the room and placing her hands on the sixteen year old's shoulders, staring into her eyes. "Those girls are your sisters, they love you, and you need to stop pushing them and everyone else away."
"I don't fit in here, Mercy. This was a bad idea." Chloe shrugged off Tess' hands, shaking her head. "I can't be the Chloe they remember! I can't be normal! I-I itch every time I'm around them!"
"That's your body reacting to your nerves."
"I know that." The blonde sent her a look. "I just-Mercy-I'm not the girl they expect me to be! I can't be!"
"Chloe..." Tess made her face. "No one expects you to be that fourteen year old anymore."
"They do!" Chloe threw her hands in the air. "I'm not like them anymore, we don't have the bond we used to have. They're...they're normal. They're living normal lives, have normal problems, and I just don't have a part in anyone's life anymore! They've moved on and so have I."
Tess sat down on Chloe's bed, looking up at the sixteen year old. "They still love you, Chlo."
"I know." She whispered, sitting down next to Tess and leaning her head against the older female's shoulder. "And I still love them I always will...but...but I don't think its enough."
Tess stroked Chloe's hair soothingly. "Give it some time."
Chloe closed her eyes. "I'm so scared, Mercy."
"I know, and its completely understandable." The redhead curled her arm around the younger girl's shoulders, giving her a comforting squeeze. "Honey, no one expects you to just drop in and everything to be just right...it's going to take time to adjust to how you all have become your own individual people while separated. But those people love you, have been searching for you for two years, and they deserve more than for you to keep yourself withheld from them. You need to give them a chance to get to know you again and love you for who you are, faults and everything."
"When we were really young, Lana and Lois used to be my everything. I knew everything about them and they knew everything about me. It was as if we were one person." Chloe whispered, sniffling as she wiped at the tears in her eyes. "But now they're complete strangers to me. I don't know who or what they're talking about and they do things that completely confuse me. I don't get their jokes. I don't like their friends. I barely manage to keep from snapping at them in frustration whenever they laugh about something only they understand."
Tess just listened, knowing that this was what Chloe needed.
"Tess, I just-before Lionel came and took me back-already then I could feel the divide growing between us." Chloe whispered. "They were fitting in, I never did. They could understand things like falling in love, while I was still debating whether if it was falling in love what made the chemicals react in your brain or if the chemicals reacting in your brain were what made you think you were in love!"
"Have you decided which it is?"
"I'm still out on that one." Chloe admitted, biting her bottom lip. "They're so normal...and I hate them for it! And I feel so bad for feeling this way! For being so jealous! I resent them so badly and I have no reason to do so!"
"Actually, you do." Tess caressed her hair. "They got two years to completely become a part of society while Lionel used those years to screw you up even more...it makes sense that a part of you resents them for it."
Chloe closed her eyes, seeking comfort from one of the only people she trusted to draw from.
Tess and Lex were the only ones who knew what she was and still seemed to genuinely care for her.
She honestly didn't know if they loved her, since they both had their reasons for being with her, but she trusted them and felt so much more comfortable with them. She knew where she stood with them, what they got out of being with her and what she got out of being with them. It was straight forwards and point blank. It was clear for her. She didn't have to agonize with them.
With the Winchesters (Lana and Lois included as well since they'd been adopted) Chloe knew without a doubt that that whole family had loved and adored her, and yet she couldn't trust them, not truly.
Or maybe it was that she just couldn't trust herself around them.
The blonde closed her eyes tighter.
Lex and Tess knew what she was, knew what she could do, knew what to expect and how to handle her. The Winchesters didn't. They didn't understand that she was a killer, or that she was dangerously addicted to a personality altering drug that crippled her and sent her into a cardiac arrest if she started having withdrawals. If something happened and she flipped a switch while around them...they wouldn't be able to protect themselves. Lana and Lois were practically useless in that department now that their powers had been taken away.
Tess mightn't have any ability at all, but somehow she always knew how to get through to Chloe even when the blonde was at her darkest, just like Lex.
"Hey! Red!" A familiar male voice called from somewhere inside of the large house. "What have I told you about buying food only women would eat?"
Tess groaned. "How does he keep getting inside of the house?"
Chloe smirked, watching the redhead flush with annoyance in a way that only Dean Winchester could make her.
Ever since Tess and her had moved into the nicest foreclosure in Lawrence, the Winchester family had visited frequently (especially considering Chloe's near fear of going to the Winchester's own home) but none had been as permanent a fixture as Sam and Dean Winchester. Tess and Dean still fought like cats and dogs, swore they detested each other...but Chloe wondered when they would realize that she wasn't deaf. It was somewhat insulting really, because Dean wasn't the master of stealthiness whenever he 'snuck' into the house at nights, and Tess herself was a very loud lay. Sure, Chloe's room might be on the other side of the house, but there were some nights where she had to turn up the music on her stereo so she could sleep.
At the beginning she used to spy on them, but in the end she'd been horny and with no hunk to help her relieve the frustration...so she'd left them alone.
"Go on and make sure he doesn't break something." Chloe smiled at her guardian.
"Are you feeling better?" Tess wanted to make sure.
Chloe rolled her eyes and smiled. "Go."
"That wasn't me!" Dean yelled out.
"Argh!" Tess turned on heel and stormed out of the room.
Hearing the arguing beginning already, Chloe rolled her eyes and looked down when her phone began to ring. She didn't recognize the number and frowned as she answered, bringing it to her ear. "Who is this?"
"Have they noticed anything yet?" A familiar male voice asked.
Chloe stood, eyes wide, beginning to tremble. "How-?"
"You've been hiding the side-effects very well, not even Mercy's noticed."
"You don't get to call her that." She snapped, pulled out of her immense shock by protective anger. "Don't even speak her name!"
"Jealous?" He chuckled.
"You're supposed to be dead." She growled, going to her window and looking out. "How am I talking to you? Because I'm sure there aren't any telephones down in hell."
"You'd be surprised at how comfortable I am right now." He replied cheekily, before sighing. "Chloe you need it, you know you do."
"I can do without it." She protested. "I'm doing fine."
"Bullshit. Your blackouts are happening more and more frequently."
She froze. "I've been with you, haven't I?"
"How do you think I have your number?"
She collapsed on the bed, hand to her forehead. "How many times?"
"Twelve in the past two months."
Chloe closed her eyes. "Two months?"
"Since you moved to Lawrence and out of Lex's close eye." He replied. "You've been coming to me, Chloe, you've been seeking me out."
"How did I find you if up until now I didn't even know you were alive?" She whispered.
"You know the answer to that question." He replied.
She glared at her reflection in the mirror. "I have time."
"Denial isn't a pretty thing, Chloe. It's stupid and annoying. Especially when you have the facts staring you in the face."
Her laptop beeped.
"Check your email."
Chloe didn't hesitate, bringing up her email account and accessing the email he'd sent...eyes widening as she saw the pictures. She clicked on the short videos and watched herself, saw the timelines, saw him.
The blonde closed her eyes and lowered the lid of the laptop. "What do you want?"
"You know you don't belong there, Chloe." He told her. "You know you don't belong with them in their world."
She closed her eyes tighter. "Don't call me again."
"You say that...but can you stay away?" He asked, before hanging up.
Chloe sat on the bed, pressing her phone against her mouth, mind whirring desperately as she tried to make sense of this and how it could be happening. He was supposed to be dead! And yet on her laptop was the proof that not only was he alive, but that she'd sought him out during her blackouts. Somehow, instinctively, she'd known and found him. She'd searched for him.
She kinda hated herself for that.
The blonde took in a deep breath, realizing she was going to have to tell Tess about this, about him, and she dreaded having to do that.
A knock sounded on her door and it opened, Sam peeking his head inside with a smile. "Hey you."
"Hey." She smiled, forcing her doubts and worries away as she gazed up at him. "Thought you had classes this evening?"
Sam was going to the university in Lawrence, not working on his law degree as he should. He'd admitted that those two years he'd spent in his own sort of hell he'd changed as well, and he wasn't so sure he was made for a career in law anymore. Until he could get his mind around what he wanted to do and be he was doing some general studies.
"Decided to skip today, too tired." Sam admitted with a smile as he collapsed on her bed, gazing up at the ceiling and letting out a deep breath.
"Want a back rub?" She offered, wondering if he realized that he was one of the only people she willingly initiated any sort of lingering contact with.
He hesitated, keeping his eyes on the ceiling, before shaking his head. "No."
The sixteen year old frowned as she gazed at him.
Sometimes she hated him more than she hated anyone else.
She stretched and lay down next to him, gazing up at the ceiling. "I was only offering because I used to give Lex a back rub every evening to help him with stress."
Sam was silent, his body tense just like it was every single time she brought up Lex.
The blonde knew Sam didn't like Lex, knew that he resented him, and that was why she purposely brought up the bald billionaire whenever Sam pissed her off. He'd gotten her back, she was here in Lawrence wasn't she? And yet other than spend a godawful amount of time at her home with Tess he did nothing. Chloe knew he was attracted to her sexually, and she knew he knew she was more than willing...but like Lex Sam had obviously decided that she wasn't to be touched. And dammit, it hurt.
Chloe had always doubted Lex's word that he hadn't slept with her because she was too young. She'd lost all sort of innocence a long time ago and she wanted her virginity gone. She wanted it gone of her own choosing. She wanted to have control over herself at least that much, and yet the two men that she'd chosen for potential deflowers had decided that they weren't doing it.
And in a sense she could understand them.
She was dangerous.
If she lost control of her power she could...who knew?
It was especially her ability to screw with people's brains that made the situation the more dangerous, and who knew what her power would do should she finally climax during the act? Would it act upon the one with whom she was sleeping with? Would it hurt him? Destroy his brain? His self-will?
"Sleep over tonight." Sam finally spoke, gaze on the ceiling. "You haven't stayed over since you've returned and mom and the others would really like to have you over."
"Not tonight." Chloe hedged, uncomfortable and a little terrified. "Another night this week."
"No." Sam turned to look at her. "You're going to get your...fix...tomorrow." He lowered his gaze to the pattern on the bed before rising it to her once more. "And they're getting so insistent they might come and find...her."
And when he said 'her' he meant 'The Bitch', as Tess referred to Chloe's Red!K personality.
Whenever Chloe got her "fix" it altered her personality, and while the bulk of it usually only lasted a couple of hours the hint of that killer bitch remained in Chloe's system for days. She was snappish, and yet at the same quite cold. She could be seductive, tempting. Always deadly. Always enjoying the pain and misfortune. The power.
"Alright." Chloe nodded, pulling herself to her feet and going to her closet. "I'll sleep over, catch up with the fam, be the good little girl I'm supposed to be."
"Do you really want to be here?" Sam asked form the bed.
Chloe sighed and closed her eyes, glad that her back was to him. "Ignore me, I'm...moody, today."
"I'm serious Chloe." Sam slowly sat up, eyeing her intently. "Everyone's noticed it. Ever since you've come back you're-muted."
"I'm hardly quiet." Chloe pretended ignorance as she opened her eyes and riffled through her clothes.
"The girls want you to go out with them and their friends and you never go. You don't sleep over unless I basically emotionally blackmail you into it." Sam stood. "Lois is pregnant and other than silently examine her whenever you're together you don't react to it!"
"What am I supposed to do, Sam?" Chloe snapped, throwing down the shirt she'd been pretending to eye, turning towards him. "Pretend that I'm happy she got knocked up by her first boyfriend? That I approve of the life they'll be having? That I don't worry that that kid of hers is going to end up cursed just like we were?" She glared at him, emotions rising in her throat. "How could she keep the kid? How could she be so stupid? So selfish? She mightn't have active powers anymore but its in her DNA! We were experiments! We were tweaked and changed to suit their molecular curiosities! For years we were injected with substances that mutated and deformed our DNA into something inhuman! Even if the damn 'cure' has removed any side-effect these mutations have manifested in Lois and Lana it hasn't changed them on a molecular level!"
Sam's eyes widened.
"That kid could be born blue, Sam. He could be born with scales, or a tail! He could be born inside out yet still able to live somehow! But should he have to live like that?" Tears of anger were filling her orbs. "And if that kid is born, and manifests some sort of power-Lois won't have him for a day. He'll be taken from her, because despite the fact that they've been neutralized the attention has never left Lois and Lana. There have always been partners of Lionel keeping tabs on them."
"Are you sure about this?" Sam whispered, taking a step towards her.
Chloe sneered. "Lana's sixteenth birthday: the catering company in charge of her party suddenly went bankrupt and you were given complimentary services of another company." The blonde raised her chin. "Thing is, no one realized that the first catering company was a front for some of the founders of Cadmus Labs, to let you understand what those people were like one of those founders was Lionel." She felt a vicious sense of satisfaction at the horror that came over Sam's face at that realization. "They wanted to see how Lois and Lana's bodies would react to certain...chemicals...which would be placed in the cake thus assuring their intake."
"Those bastards!" Sam snarled, brotherly protectiveness filling him.
"Lex dealt with the situation." Chloe replied, revealing one of the many things she owed Lex for. "It wasn't the first time he'd had to interfere with Cadmus Labs' plans for them and it won't be the last."
Sam went silent, face blank.
"And they have a very big interest in this kid." Chloe revealed, voice and expression hard, dark. "While creating the perfect assassins was part of the project we were a part of, another factor in the experiment was the continuation of the bloodline."
"What do you mean?" But by the darkness entering those blue eyes, Sam betrayed that he understood.
"Progeny, Sam." Chloe sneered at him, ignoring the way her warring emotions were causing her body to tremble. "The secondary emphasis on Project Gaia was the breeding program."
Sam went still.
"We were nothing but animals to them. Of course once they perfected the off-shoot human breed they wanted, they developed an active, enhanced sexual drive in their specimens and altered their breeding patterns to ensure conception." Chloe felt ashamed and angry, hating herself for telling Sam all of her shameful secrets. These were things he didn't need to know, should never know, and yet she couldn't keep herself silent no matter how hard she tried. "Why do you think Lionel never pressed his suit with me? Why he never used his power over me, his control over my collar, to force himself on me?"
That darkness grew tenfold on Sam's face as he clenched his fist. "Because you threatened to mess with the collar and kill yourself if he did."
"That might have been part of it," Chloe conceded. "But he also knew that after I reached maturity I'd enter into estrus and would screw anyone willingly." She hugged herself, disgust rising in her throat. "He only had to wait."
Sam's eyes widened and the darkness disappeared, being taken over by pure horror and utter disgust as he sat back down. "They designed you to go into heat."
She flinched at how much on an animal that made her sound, hated him knowing such a vile thing, resented him terribly for leaving her emotionally unstable enough to have let this slip. "The idea wouldn't be to father any children of his own as he would be already passed his prime. No, there would be a designated breeding partner, but the estrus would help Lionel relieve his sexual longings while I was receptive to his otherwise spurned advances." She steeled herself. "He wouldn't have done anything wrong. It wouldn't have been rape."
"The hell it wouldn't!" Sam snapped, standing once more, coming towards her and shaking her angrily. "Why the hell are you defending that pedophile?"
"I'm not!" She pushed him away, eyes flashing. "I killed him so he would never touch me! I'm not defending him!" She clenched her fists at her side. "But if I enter into estrus I'd go into a mating frenzy, I'd be more than willing, I'd be desperate." She swallowed down the bile in her throat. "Those are the facts that I have to live with."
Sam was silent, gaze lowered, hair falling into his face, shadowing it and keeping it hidden from her.
"I wanted to be normal, thought I could be if I came back here, but I can't." Chloe's voice trembled. "I can't pretend to care about Lana and Lois' friends, or show a moderate interest in the topic of fashion, or hide the fact that I think Lois' pregnancy is the stupidest, most selfish mistake she has ever made. I can't sit in your house and hear them talk about the cute delivery guy because I've fried the brains of someone who looks very similar to him. I can't look your parents in the face because I've killed parents in front of their children, and then I've killed the children." She tried never to think of the things she'd done for Lionel while under the haze of a constant red!k fog...but they were things she would never be able to forget and would haunt her. "I can't go to school and pretend I'm even vaguely interested in my classes or schoolmates or remotely intimidated by my teachers and the threats of detentions and expulsions. Not when they seem laughable to what I've been through." She hugged herself tightly. "I don't understand how to function properly in a world in which someone isn't dying."
Sam continued to stand there, body stiff like steel, hands clenched at his sides...before he suddenly turned and silently leaving the room, closing the door behind him.
Chloe refused to cry but the emotional toll had ripped her apart, and her body was now begging as it shivered viciously.
She barely managed to grab her phone and scroll down the menu before finding the last received number, shaking fingers pressing the call button.
The phone rang and rang, he was obviously letting her know that he had all the control here.
Finally, he answered. "That was quick. Didn't expect to hear from you in at least a couple of days."
"Do you have it?" Her teeth chattered with the force of her shivers.
There was a pause, before: "Where do you want to meet?"