Title: The Secrets We Don't KeepPairing: Clarke Griffin/Bellamy BlakeFandom: The 100Rating: K+/TDisclaimer: Don't own the 100Summary: The one in which Clarke thinks that she's kept the fact that she's pregnant (and that Bellamy is the father) a secret, but she really hasn't.
Clarke had sincerely thought that once she gave birth Bellamy's overprotectiveness towards her would diminish, especially considering he'd have the children to dote and protect, and while he was most definitely a proud and protective papa to the twins, Bellamy's protectiveness towards her didn't lessen in the least bit. In fact, it seemed to have tripled.
It was one of the reasons why they were now having the argument they were having.
"I'm going to do this." Clarke glared at him, unable to believe he could be so frustrating sometimes.
"No, you're not." His gaze dared her to continued in this defiance.
She more than gladly took up the dare. "I will. You don't own me, Bellamy. I can do whatever I want to."
He stepped closer, as if trying to intimidate her with his sheer physicality. "You're the mother of my children. I will not let you endanger yourself. Especially not for Spacewalker." His eyes narrowed. "My children will not grow up not knowing what it's like to have both parents just because Collins was a selfish idiot, like always."
Once again he was obviously drawing from the experience of having to grow up without a father and the hardships he'd had to face due to this.
Clarke took in a deep breath and tried to mentally word what she was going to say before she spoke. "Finn has always only tried to make peace between us and the Grounders."
"Yeah, I remember how spectacular it went for us last time." His voice dripped with loathing.
She didn't blame him, but couldn't admit that right now. "Anya won't let him go until we have another meeting, this time in the plain to the east where no sniper or bowman can hide." She licked her lips. "That alone proves that she really wants to talk this time." The blonde stared up at him as she moved closer. "They'll kill Finn if I don't go."
Bellamy shook his head. "Let Spacewalker face the consequences of sneaking out the walls and getting caught."
"He's on crutches," Clarke tried to reason with him. "He would be no match for them."
"Yet another reason why he should've been smart enough not to sneak out by himself on a mission of peace and stupidity." Bellamy wasn't going to be swayed. "Let his fate serve as a warning to the others of what happens when you're too stupid to deserve to live."
"I'm going, Bellamy." She gave a little sigh, tired of fighting. "There's nothing you can say or do that will stop me."
"Wanna bet?" Bellamy squared his jaw before his gaze went behind her and he gave a curt nod.
Suddenly hands grabbed Clarke and the girl struggled with a cry as some of Bellamy's watchmen began to drag her away towards the cabin. "Bellamy! Don't you dare do this!" She fought and yet they were stronger than her. "Bellamy!"
"I'm going to protect you, Clarke, even if it's from yourself." He frowned at her. "You're not going to this meeting. It's suicide. And I'm not letting you die for him."
"Bellamy!" She screamed, not caring that the whole village watched her. "Bellamy, you asshole!"
He remained unmoved, and his emotionless face was the last thing she saw before she was thrown into their cabin.
"I can't believe my brother would just put you under house-arrest like this!" Octavia held Jake to her heart, rocking him back and forth, as she stood by the blazing fire. "Then again, scratch that. This is my brother. I know better than anyone else what he's capable in the name of protecting his family."
Clarke paced back and forth, Aurora sleeping in her arms. "He's not protecting his family, Octavia, he's bossing me around. That's it. Plain and simple." She couldn't keep the fury from her voice. "How dare he think he can do something like this to me?"
"My brother's heart is in the right place." Octavia made a face. "But he's just such an asshole that that doesn't matter most of the time."
Clarke couldn't agree more. She understood that the last time they'd gone to meet the Grounders things had been a disaster, but the fact that Bellamy was more than willing to let Finn die like that without even trying to help… It made her blood boil. Bellamy had never been held by the Grounders, he didn't know what they were capable of doing. But she did. She'd been kidnapped and tortured and nearly killed by them. She knew what Finn must being going through right now and it made her sick to her stomach.
"I asked Lincoln to help me spring you loose so you could go and help Finn, but he refused." Octavia was visibly pissed off at this, which was understandable considering that Lincoln usually was incapable of telling her 'no'. "He said that Bellamy was right, and that you shouldn't go to the meeting, that it was probably a trap and that Finn was most probably dead."
Clarke took in a stuttered breath at that thought.
Suddenly the sound of something hard hitting the back door caught her attention.
Octavia grinned. "So since he wouldn't help me, I drugged Dexton all on my own." She looked like the cat that ate the canary as she grinned. "Go on. I'll take care of the kids while you're out." She put Jake on the blanket on the floor in front of the fire and reached for Aurora, removing the sleeping child from her shocked mother's arms. "Raven's waiting for you outside. She'll be backup."
Clarke was touched, close to tears. She hugged Octavia as best as she could while the other girl held Aurora, before she turned, grabbed a jacket, and hurried towards the back door. She opened it to find Dexton sleeping hard against the door (he tumbled into the house when she opened it) and Raven smirking as she leaned against the wall, bundled up against the immense cold. She had the strap for a gun slung around her shoulder and another held out towards Clarke.
The girls shared a smile as Clarke took her gun, and together escaped the village walls to rescue their wayward ex. They didn't say a word, didn't dare even whisper, until they were a good enough distance from the village.
Raven was the one who broke the silence. "Finn needs to get a new girlfriend so she can look out for his butt."
Clarke snickered as she turned to look at the other girl. "I agree."
"Miller's gonna flip when he realizes I'm not in the village." Raven grinned brightly at the thought. "He might even have a panic attack. Both because I'm outside of the walls without someone to 'protect me', and because he's smart enough to figure out that you'll be with me and that that means he has to tell Bellamy you not only disobeyed him-but are out here without protection too."
Clarke nodded in agreement to that. "They're going to be really pissed with us."
"Well, we are going off on a suicidal mission." Raven gave a shrug. "They have a point."
"We can't not do something." Clarke took in a deep breath. "Even if we're too late we need to at least try to help Finn."
"I agree. Doesn't mean I'm particularly happy with Finn for pulling this crap though." Raven let out a snort. "He's smarter than this." She made a face. "If I die because of him I'll beso angry. I'll never forgive him." She pursed her lips. "Life was just starting to not suck."
Clarke silently agreed with what Raven said. Her life, while even more stressful considering she was taking care of two children and arguing with Bellamy due to his overprotectiveness, was an amazing one. When she'd crash-landed on earth she'd never thought that life would be what it was now. Sure, she'd been sure that they would manage to survive somehow, but she hadn't really thought she could be happy. And she was. She was very happy.
Both women continued in silence until they reached the plain. They shared looks as they saw Anya and a small group of Grounders already there. Finn was there as well. Bruised but alive.
They let out relieved sighs and squared their shoulders as they drew closer.
Clarke's gaze went to Finn and her gaze questioned whether he was okay. He nodded silently. She took in a deep breath and returned her blue gaze to Anya. "We're here."
Anya's gaze surveyed the plain behind her before she turned to her, dressed in less furs than Raven and Clarke, the Grounders were apparently less bothered by the cold of winter. "You came alone this time."
"What am I, minced meat?" Raven snorted under her breath.
"I came with Raven," Clarke's gaze stayed on Anya. "Why did you send that Grounder to tell us you had Finn and that I should come here?" She raised her chin. "What could you possibly get from this meeting?"
Anya looked annoyed with the questions. "You are the healer of your village."
Clarke frowned, not having expected this. "What of it?"
"Many of our children have come down with an illness, we're not sure what, and our own healers are unable to do anything to keep them from dying." Anya looked pained to admit that. "Come with us, help our people, and we will let this one and your woman return to the village unharmed."
Alarm filled Clarke. "How do I know that you won't kill them?"
"You have our word." Anya raised her chin.
"Much good your word was last time, lady." Raven gave a snort.
"It was your people who fired upon us during our last meeting," Anya reminded coldly.
Snow began to fall all around them.
"Once I've looked over your people, you'll let me return." That wasn't a question.
Anya nodded. "You will come. Now."
Clarke turned to Raven. "Get Finn back."
Raven shook her head as she reached out and grabbed Clarke's arm. "You can't be seriously-."
Clarke licked her lips and nodded. "I need to see whatever they have. We could come down with it as well and if I can figure out what it is and how to cure it we won't lose anyone."
"Bellamy-." Raven began.
"He doesn't have any say in this." Clarke felt defiant. "I'm making this decision as the village's physician."
"Clarke," Finn tried, voice apologetic. "I'll come with you. You shouldn't go alone."
"Go with Raven back to the village." Clarke shook her head. "I will do this alone."
"But I can help."
"No." She glared at him. "You've helped enough."
He flinched and looked away.
Raven bit the inside of her cheek before she glared at Anya and then turned to Clarke. "Don't get sick."
Clarke nodded. "Go on. I have a feeling they won't go to their village until you two are gone."
"I don't like this." And yet Raven motioned for Finn to follow her as she turned and began to make her way back towards the village. She turned to glare at the guy on the crutches. "You're telling Bellamy what happened to Clarke."
Clarke watched them until she couldn't see them anymore, and then turned to face Anya. "Let's go."
Anya eyed her with narrowed eyes before she turned to her men and nodded.
Clarke had been blindfolded and led to wherever the village was. Her blindfold had only been removed once she was in the heart of the village, in a building, surrounded by the sick. She tried to forget that she was a prisoner and instead acted like a doctor. The "healers" there gave her ugly looks, obviously seeing her presence as an insult, but she ignored them and their hurt egos as she went about talking to the ill and their family, trying to categorize the symptoms and any other pertinent information.
This mysterious disease had affected a large group of children and youths. Clarke spent most of her time examining and trying to understand what was causing the dilated pupils, sensitivity to light, blurred vision, tachycardia, loss of balance, staggering, headache, rash, flushing, severely dry mouth and throat, slurred speech, confusion, hallucinations, delirium, convulsions and other symptoms. She went over every thing the patients had done days before they got sick, trying to discern a pattern that could help her understand what was causing the illness. Once she knew that she could better identify exactly what was going on, and maybe figure out how to treat the illness. And even if she couldn't treatthe illness, by figuring out what was causing this she could at least help the Grounders prevent more getting ill.
The irony of the fact that she was helping the people who'd set lose a fatal fever on her own people wasn't lost to her, but Clarke was a healer and it never seemed wrong to her to help those in need.
She was worried at the thought that this thing might be contagious, airborne, but she had a feeling that it wasn't, that these people had caught or developed this in some other way. Maybe it was something they'd eaten or come into contact with. That was the only reason why she could see only a group of them getting ill and not the whole village.
"Why is this necessary?" Anya snapped as they strolled down towards a place where all of the victims had visited before they grew ill. "There is nothing here that would make them ill." She was impatient and unhappy. Two more had died. "You need to be with the children and not waste all our time by-."
"Do you want me to help them?" Clarke interrupted in a short manner. "Then let me do what I have to do."
Anya glared at her and yet didn't say anything further.
Counting that as a victory, the blonde continued to move carefully amongst the snow-covered rocks, her gaze on the river as she glanced around. "Is this where your village gets its water supply?"
The leader of this faction of Grounders shook her head. "This is too far away. We have a river much closer that we use."
"Then what were they doing out here?"
She shrugged. "It is some distance from the village-some of the young come here to be alone. We discourage it due to the fact that it is close to where Reapers travel through, but some of the youth like to take risks. Risks we do not approve of." She frowned darkly. "It has become a test of courage for them to come out here, and while we have done our best to discourage them from acting foolishly they are, in essence, stupid children who want to prove to their peers that they are 'courageous'."
Clarke took note of that before something caught her attention up ahead. "What's that?"
"I do not know. We do not cross over there." Anya narrowed her eyes. "Reapers frequent that area."
Clarke sent the woman a curious look before she moved forwards.
Anya caught her arm. "Don't."
Yanking her arm free, Clarke crossed the invisible boundary and moved quickly, gaze around her as she climbed a large boulder and stared down. "You need to see this."
Still on the Grounder side of the boundary, Anya visibly hesitated before she cursed under her breath and hurried behind Clarke. She climbed up on the boulder and stood at Clarke's side, her gaze immediately finding what the blonde stared at. "What is that?"
Clarke jumped down off of the boulder and landed hard, ankle deep in the snow as she moved towards the large accumulation of plants netted in the water. "They're a mixture of different plants, but from the little I know of the fauna here, they're all poisonous." She frowned. "They have it like a tea-bag… and the river ends over there… so the poison would accumulate in that area on your side of the boundary."
Anya hissed as she joined Clarke. "They're poisoning the water supply."
Clarke nodded. "They must've realized that a lot of people come here, and they found a way to weaken your village." She raised an eyebrow. "Much like how you tried to weakenmine."
Anya didn't react to this jab. "I will have my people know they cannot drink this water." She grabbed Clarke's arm and started to drag her back towards their boundary. "Can you treat those who are already poisoned?"
Clarke yanked her arm from Anya's grip and yet followed her without complaint. "I can try, but I can't promise anything."
Anya merely nodded, a determined look on her face.
"What now?" Anya demanded as Clarke finished giving the last child the concoction she'd come up with to try and flush their systems clear of the poison coursing through their bodies.
"Now, we wait." Clarke sat on the floor and hugged herself, tired. She missed her children and was worried about them, hoped that they were okay. She also thought about Bellamy and wondered just how pissed at her he was.
A part of her wondered if he was happy to leave her to die for being "so stupid" to come here in the first place.
The thought made her ache.
Anya eyed her shrewdly. "What are you thinking?"
Clarke sent the woman a little glare. "About my children."
"You have given birth?" Anya seemed shocked.
Anya eyed her curiously. "I am even more surprised now that your mate allowed you to come meet us." She raised an eyebrow. "He always has seemed most protective of you." She made a face. "I do not like him. He is too arrogant."
"He didn't know I was coming." It occurred to Clarke that this woman also assumed automatically that if Clarke had been pregnant, it had been for Bellamy. The thought made her smile wryly. "He is probably very angry at me."
Anya gave a little curt nod and left.
Clarke watched her go before she sighed and leaned her head hard against the wall.
Clarke awoke from where she'd fallen asleep waiting to see whether what she'd given the patients had worked or not. She felt groggy and a little cold, but the commotion she heard woke her immediately and she rose to her feet, wary.
Two large guards appeared, Bellamy struggling against them, cut and bruised.
"Bellamy!" Clarke hurried towards him.
He was thrust forwards by the guards and gave them a dirty look before he caught her when she raced into his arms. He embraced her tightly. "Why couldn't you have just let Spacewalker die?"
She didn't have it in her to fight him. "Why are you here?"
There was silence, and then he sighed. "I came for you."
She smiled into his chest, ridiculously happy he would do that for her when he wouldn't for Finn. "You idiot."
"Some thanks I get," he muttered against her hair, and yet didn't let go.
A soft voice broke into their moment. "I'm thirsty."
Clarke's eyes widened and she pulled away to gaze at a child who had been completely out of it previously. The child looked lucid now, her confused gaze on Clarke and Bellamy. "I think it's working!" She hurried to get the child a cup of fresh water, hope filling her.
"Are you ever going to forgive me?" Clarke wanted to know softly.
After Clarke's concoction had worked, Anya had kept to her word and allowed Clarke and Bellamy to leave their village. The two had returned to their own and if Clarke had thought Bellamy overbearing before, he was a hundred times worse now. Things between them had also gotten terribly tense, and Clarke hated it. She wanted things to be the way they'd been before.
"Forgiveness has already been given, Princess." A muscle jumped in his cheek. "It's trust that's gone." His eyes narrowed. "I don't trust you not to do something stupid that could get you killed."
It seriously hurt.
And yet she could understand.
"That was the first positive interaction we've had with the Grounders." She tried to find an excuse, anything to soften him. "Thanks to it we might have a chance at having a good relationship with them-or at least a truce!"
"They could've killed you!" He snapped at her. "Why can't you see that?"
"I know-Bellamy-." She sighed. "I know it was stupid, but I had to do it."
"No. You didn't." His eyes darkened. "You should've stayed here. You should've chosen your children, not Spacewalker."
Clarke's eyes narrowed as her mouth parted. "I didn't choose him over our children!"
"Yes, you did!" Bellamy snarled. "You chose him over us without a second thought."
No, she hadn't! She'd never choose anyone else over Bellamy and their kids!
"I don't care if you still love him-."
"I don't!" She was starting to get angry now. "What did you want me to do, Bellamy? Leave him to die? I couldn't do that! He's my friend, and it goes against my nature to do something like that!"
"I know that." His voice was harsh. "That's why I can't trust you anymore."
"Yes, you can."
"No." He shook his head, expression furious. "I can't."
She wanted to cry. "Bellamy-."
"Don't." He took a step away from her. "I'm too pissed off to even look at you right now." With that he stormed to his room and slammed the door closed.
Clarke leaned hard against the wall and her blue gaze fell to her feet as she fought tears.