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Being Good Is Overrated 1/1 
3rd-May-2009 03:56 pm

Title: Being Good Is Overrated
Sequel to: Possession
Fandom: Smallville
Genre: humor, action
Characters: Chloe Sullivan, Lois Lane
Disclaimer: I do not own Smallville
Summary:  Women in Smallville are being found mauled to pieces amongst peaceful herds of bovine, and Lois has decided that it can be noneother than the 'chichithingy' to blame. Chloe, still feeling guilty after the happenings in "Possession" allows Lois to drag her through every cow herd in Smallville, boots deep in mud and manure, to find this creature, never really thinking it was real or they'd find it. Tonight is just not her night.
Note:Note: Written for My Paranormal 150 Prompt Table #70. Chichevache


“This is ridiculous.” Chloe grumbled under her breath as they visited the sixth farm of the night. Everyone who had cattle in the whole of Smallville had gotten secretly trespassed on by her and Lois as Lois scuffled around with military stealth, carrying a camcorder filming everything, and Chloe walked around behind her casually, arms folded over her chest.

She was tired and she was bored.

Three farmer wives had disappeared while tending to the cattle in the last three days, and then little pieces of their bodies had been found, mauled. Then two women who were used to walking passed here to get to their homes had disappeared as well, pieces of their bodies discovered just this morning amongst the cows.

That was enough for Lois’ Inquisitor-sharpened brain to come up quickly with only one possible answer to this.

The Chichevache had come to Smallville.

To be honest, Lois had called it a ‘chichithingy’ but she’d insisted on the real name being similar.

Chloe had had to admit that she’d never heard of the creature before Lois victoriously announced what the culprit just had to be, but her cousin had informed her on what the thing was. Apparently, theChichevache was an obscure, European monster with a human’s head who fed on ‘good women’.

Chloe had gone online and verified her cousin’s tale, adding that in Chaucer's Canterbury Tales, this human-faced cow was perpetually starved to skin and bone due to the scarcity of obedient and faithful wives. The Bicorn or Bycorne, a counterpart to the Chichevache that fed on obedient and kind husbands, was reputedly fat and plump because of the plentiful supply of such men.

Well, that’s pure bull. She’d smirked at the pun, but she was far from smirking as she trudged through the mud and dung of yet another seemingly endless herd. She was hungry, cold, tired and cranky and she needed to finish a byline. But was she at home or at the Daily Planet?


She was here, in the middle of Farmer Eddie’s cows, following Lois who’d insisted she come along with her.

“We’re going to find this Chichithingy and have documented proof of its existence!” Lois grinned, not at all put off by Chloe’s obvious lack of interest in this.

“Why couldn’t we bring Clark along again?” Chloe wanted to know, frowning as she looked around her at the cows. “If this thing is really what’s killing the women in Smallville, wouldn’t it make more sense to have a man with us?”

“It won’t show if mountain-butt is here.” Lois sniffed at that thought. She was walking a little stiffly, arm around her waist. It was moment like that when she showed that that fight with the mysterious demon named Ruby had left some repercussions. Her rib hadn’t been broken but it’d been a near miss, and despite that having happened a month ago she was still experiencing some pain.

Even though Chloe had healed it completely.

And Meg had possessed Lois because of Chloe, and it was guilt about that that had Chloe trudging through cow manure at ungodly hour of the night behind her cousin.

“So we’re just going to walk around Smallville’s many proud bovine until the Chichevache comes out and tries to eat us?” Chloe wanted to know, finding this plan somewhat dubious. “Shouldn’t we have brought alone some sort of weapon?”

“It’s not going to eat us, silly.” Lois announced, turning towards her, camera focused now on the blonde. “It’ll come towards us because we’re females, but once it realizes we’re not exactly good or pure women.”

Chloe snorted, insulted. “Excuse me?”

“Well, I’m promiscuous if it’s the right guy.” Lois responded as if that weren’t much of a big deal. “I also curse, and kick ass and don’t take backtalk from anyone.”

Chloe frowned. “What about me?”

“Well, for one, in the days Chaucer would have talked about this Chichithingy, the women wouldn’t be as much as a smarty pants as you are, they wouldn’t be mutated, and they wouldn’t have lost their virginity before marriage.” Lois paused. “At least not the good ones.”

That frown grew.

Lois was making sense.

It was frightening.

Plus,” Lois continued. “’Good girls’ don’t get tattoos.”

Chloe pouted, looking away. “Being good is overrated.”

And it gets you eaten by obscure European cows.” Lois chirped. “And anyway, I like my tattoo, keeps my body possession-free and me in control, just as I like it.”

Chloe nodded in agreement. When Ruby had given her the anti-possession symbol she’d been suspicious, and had researched the design arduously before even thinking of inking that to her skin. For all she knew it could be a demon-summoning symbol or something.

But then she’d found after extensive research that it was the strongest and most powerful anti-possession symbol out there. She hadn’t even taken the time to turn off her computer before she’d grabbed Lois and they’d gone to get matching pairs.

Lois, being the gutsy one of the two, had gotten it tattooed on her right asscheek. Chloe, not as adventurous as her cousin, had gotten it tattoo on her right shoulder blade. She’d also gotten the symbol commissioned into pendants and had given one each to Lana, Clark, Oliver and Mrs. Kent.

Each had accepted it warily but trusted her, promising never to take it off.

“What was that?” Lois twitched, turning around, camera ready.

Chloe frowned, looking around.

She hadn’t hard anything.

“Oh god.”

Jerking towards where Lois was looking, Chloe’s eyes widened when she saw the large bovine body upon the hill in front of them, the figure backlit by the blood moon, its head distorted, looking like a human’s instead of a cow’s, yet with wicked looking horns protruding from its skull.

The creature was looking in their direction.

“It’s the chichithingy!” Lois gasped. “I can’t----I can’t believe it! It---it’s real! And I got proof baby!”

Chloe didn’t feel the joy and awe her cousin obviously did, because steam was rising from its nostrils, and it was bringing its front hoof down aggressively. “Uh, Lois?”

“Huh?” The Inquisitor reporter wanted to know, busy filming.

“I think the Chichevache got sick of being hungry and isn’t as picky about it’s food as it was in Chuacer’s time.”

“What? Why?” Lois turned and looked at her, frowning.

Chloe’s eyes were on the creature. “Because it’s charging us.”

Head whipping back in the direction of the creature, Lois’ eyes went wide. “Goddamit!” Not even that loud curse was enough to deter the beast. “Let’s get out of here!”

Chloe had already turned and was running, Lois quickly catching up to her. The cows around them mooed frantically and the ground shook as the Chichevache charged them fiercely, catching up to them quickly.

Forcing itself in the space between them, the creature swung its head in Chloe’s direction, sending her flying to the left, and then swung it at Lois, sending her flying to the left, effortlessly separating them and leaving them even more vulnerable than they’d been seconds go.

Drool dripped from its mouth, which while human had animalistic fangs, and after a moment’s hesitation it turned on Lois, charging the fallen woman.

“Lois!” Chloe screamed, getting up to her feet.

Lois, who’d still been on the ground, rolled to the right when the Chichevache brought down its front hoofs violently where she’d been seconds ago. It was trying to stomp her to death, and it was only due to her rapid reflects that she was able to dodge the hoofs time and time again.

“Leave me alone you fucker!” Twirling on the ground with ease thanks to the mud and manure, Lois’s foot kicked violently at one of the front hooves when it came down and the creature fell, its scream a mixture of human and animal.

Lois took the opportunity to rise to her feet, but her arm was once more around her ribs, and she was limping as she tried to hurry away, camera lost and forgotten.

Enraged that it’d been hurt, the Chichevache charged after her and with a swing of its head it knocked her to the ground again, rising on its back legs, ready to bring it down on Lois.

Chloe didn’t know what took over her. All she knew was that she was running towards the monster, who had its back to her. The momentum and something else were on her side as she somehow managed to propel herself up its back until she was straddling its shoulders, surprising the monster into forgetting about her cousin.

“What the fuck are you doing?” Lois screamed at her, horrified. “Get off of it!”

Locking her legs around the neck of the creature, Chloe cried out and grabbed hard onto the horns as the Chichevache began to try and buck her off of it. She jumped and kicked and shook its head violently, and more than a couple of times she almost fell off, but the knowledge that once that happened she’d be dead kept her gripping hard with both her thighs and hands.

There was no way she was going to let go.

Chloe!” Lois screamed, sounding pained but so terrified.

Chloe held on tighter, closing her eyes tightly, so frightened.

Feeling herself begin to fall towards the left, Chloe screamed as she grabbed both hands on the right horn, and then with a violent buck she fell off, still holding on. There was a loud cracking sound as Chloe fell to the ground, and then the body of the Chichevache fell down besides her, causing the ground to shake for a moment before everything was still.


Opening her eyes, surprised to still be alive, Chloe let go of the horns, surprised to see the creature dead beside her. “What---?”

Getting to her feet with her cousin’s help, Chloe couldn’t take her shocked eyes off of the carcass of the monster as she realized what’d happened. She’d somehow managed to break its neck when she’d fallen off. Said head was resting back to front on its neck.

“What are you?” Lois whispered as she placed a shaky arm around her little cousin, awed. “The new Slayer or something?”

Chloe would have laughed if her legs hadn’t given out on her and she found herself knees deep in the mud, body heaving as she vomited from the residue fear, and from disgust.

She’d just killed something.

With her bare hands.

Lois knelt by her side, rubbing her back. “Are you okay? Were you hurt?”

Chloe shook her head once she’d stopped vomiting. “I’m fine. Just---just shook up.”

“You sure?”

“Yeah.” The blonde closed her eyes tightly, willing away the sick feeling in her stomach, ignoring the acidic taste in her mouth.

“Okay.” Lois stood and walked away, returning moments later with her camera. “I’m guessing that we’re not going to take this to the Inquisitor.” She sighed, looking at the DVD footage. “Not with you in it doing your best Buffy Summers imitation.”

“You mean it filmed that?” Chloe asked, forcing herself back onto her shaky feet.

“Yeah.” Lois nodded. “When it fell it fell at a perfect angle, we caught everything on film.” She looked up from the screen. “Lets go home and watch it on a bigger screen?”

Chloe turned to look at the carcass of the monster. “What about the chichithingy?”

Chichevache.” Lois corrected, gaze going back to the camera’s screen. “This is Smallville.” And with that she turned and began to walk away.

Now that her cousin’s back was turned, Chloe raised her palms, gazing down at them before shaking her head and rubbing her fingers to her palms nervously and following after.

II was just lucky. I was just lucky.

She continued to chant this over and over in her head as she refused to look back at the body of the thing she’d killed.

“There are destinies that need to be fulfilled, prophesies in works, and guess what? You have your own.” Ruby’s words rung ominously in her mind.

Chloe closed her eyes and stopped walking.

What had Ruby meant when she’d said that?

What destiny?

What prophesy?

Did it explain how she could somehow kill that thing with only her hands?

“Chloe?” Lois’s voice was worried. “What’s wrong?”

“Nothing.” She opened her eyes and smiled at her cousin. “Everything’s fine.” And yet, as she said those words, Chloe couldn’t help but feel that nothing was ever going to be ‘fine’ ever again.


3rd-May-2009 09:46 pm (UTC)
Love the chlo-lo interaction ;-) ppms!
3rd-May-2009 10:00 pm (UTC)
the cousins are just great together. lol.
3rd-May-2009 10:49 pm (UTC)
an obscure, European monster with a human’s head who fed on ‘good women’.

never heard of it! i might have to research that one. :p

I find it hard to believe that Lois would turn her back on a story though...

Love the Chlo-lo interaction!!
4th-May-2009 01:11 am (UTC)
Well, she has to protect Chloe. So Lois will let it slide....THIS time!
5th-May-2009 04:54 am (UTC)
Love, love the Chlo-Lo.
5th-May-2009 01:09 pm (UTC)
7th-Sep-2009 09:23 pm (UTC)
awesome chlo-lo action
7th-Sep-2009 09:24 pm (UTC)
Thanks! Glad your approve :D
28th-Dec-2009 06:29 pm (UTC)
Poor Chloe all shook up. I guess her powers are finally starting to shine through. Well the demonic aspect especially when it comes to protecting her cousin.
28th-Dec-2009 07:00 pm (UTC)
Yep, the cousins would do anything to protect each other.
26th-Jul-2014 04:23 pm (UTC)
Love them getting in trouble together!!!
26th-Sep-2014 12:15 am (UTC)
I just love Chloe and Lois adventures...
26th-Sep-2014 02:23 am (UTC)
I love writing ChloLo :)
14th-Jun-2015 10:52 pm (UTC)
Gotta love Lois! This story is great. Tuning to the next chapter. Thank you!!!
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