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Stranger Than Fiction 1/1 
12th-Nov-2009 02:41 pm
Title: Stranger Than Fiction
Characters: Chloe Sullivan, Lois Lane, Dean Winchester, Sam Winchester...others mentioned
Fandoms: Smallville/Supernatural
Rating: T
Disclaimer: Don't own.
Summary: After being in the last three of Chuck's Supernatural books due to her involvement with the boys, Chloe is trying to get used to the fan fiction being written about her, and then Lois just had to go and open her eyes to the all-time fan-favorite... Schlean...
Paranormal25 150 Prompt Table used. Prompt #84. Quantum Mechanics ( A theory of physics that says that side by side with this world, another world exists - a parallel universe that is somehow slightly different and yet the same. An infinite number of parallel universes exist for every possible variant.)

Chloe just didn’t understand it.

When the stories started popping up she’d ignored them, despite her curious nature, knowing that it was bound to happen after the first Supernatural book with her as a character had come out. She’d really asked Chuck to keep her out of his publications, but as he said, he wrote what he saw, and now that Sam and Dean Winchester had come into her life she apparently figured prominently in his visions as well.

She was a heroine and the closest thing to a female lead that the series had ever had (she should know---as soon as Lois had discovered the existence of the books she’d bought them all and forced Chloe to listen to her as she’d read them aloud), and it made her a little uncomfortable to have her life’s story mapped out on pages for anyone with enough money to buy the book to read.

Throughout the last three books her life had been sketched clearly from her meteor-infected childhood to her growing up in Smallville fighting the metahumans there, to her embarrassing crush on Clark, to her various encounters with the supernatural, to her marriage, to her alien super-computer possession, to the death of Jimmy---and of course how she’d met the Winchesters when they’d come to her for help when they’d come across a group of metahumans rallying together with demons.

They’d all barely made it out of that one alive, and that was because Chloe had saved the boys’ lives with her powers---which they hadn’t known about at the time.

After that, Sam, Dean, Chloe, Lois, and their combined worlds had seemed to merge somehow, and Chloe found herself dividing her time as Watchtower, both for the league and for the hunters, trying to help stop the many people and/or demons hell-bent on destroying the world.

She was the one who’d discovered the fact that Lilith was the last seal, and if she hadn’t gotten there on time…

Chloe shivered, not wanting to think of what would have happened if Sam hadn’t listened to her, hadn’t chosen to believe her over Ruby despite everything, and hadn’t let Lilith escape.

Ruby had thrown a fit, exposed herself, and then tried to kill Chloe for ‘ruining’ all of her months of planning and manipulations.

Both a haggard Dean, and a repentant, furious Sam, had finally worked together for the first time since Dean had returned from hell, and had killed the bitch.

And they’d rejoiced.

That apocalypse had been averted.

Didn’t mean anyone had time to rest.

“Here’s another one!” Lois announced, shaking her head. “Chloe, have you even a quarter of the stories out there with you in them?”

Chloe had read some.

Some months ago.

And she’d winced.

There were all sorts of weird stories out there in fan fiction city, and she was terrified of them.

In some she was really satan’s daughter (or satan herself) in sexy form (the sexy part she’d appreciated though),in others she was half angelic, and some had good plot. But most of the stories just really had to do with sex.

Or, er, her having sex.

With people she knew in real life.

And that was just awkward.

She’d clicked on her name and seen all the people she was being paired with. She had probably one of the most diverse shipping community on the websites that hosted Supernatural fan fiction.

Some people were even pairing her with Lois!

And now that was just not right!

Then again, a lot of people were shipping Dean with Sam…so maybe she really shouldn’t complain.

“My favorite are the ones of me and Papa!Winchester, or me and Castiel. He’s hot for an angel.” Lois, quite happy to be included in the series as Chloe’s ‘faithful, loving, loyal, beautiful and brazen’ cousin and sidekick, spent most of her leisure time on the fan fiction sites reading up what was being written about them---and sometimes writing some oneshots as well when she felt mischievous.

She liked to ship ChloexRuby---just to piss her cousin off.

“Almost everyone loves you.” Lois grinned. “They have these forums where they talk about you, and get this---they call Clark the BDA for never having noticed you and instead marrying the “Pink Princess”.”

Chloe frowned. “BDA?”

“Big Dumb Alien!” Lois cackled with glee. “How appropriate is that?!? And ‘Pink Princess’? Don’t get me started on that one!”

Of course, Lois had been pissed to find out about Clark’s alien-ity from Chuck’s books, but after telling everyone off and kicking some things around she’d cooled down and started making crop-circle jokes whenever he was around.

“And guess what?” Lois asked, twirling around on her seat so she could look at her cousin. “In almost every single fanfiction that has Lana somehow in it---she starts talking about her parents’ death and the woes of her life! It’s just so realistic it’s scary!”

Lois.” Chloe knew that Lois was a little bitter against Lana for coming back all super-powered and marrying Clark so they could save their little corner of the world and have superhero babies together, but Lana was still Chloe’s friend.

“And that’s not all.” Lois exclaimed, grinning. “Do you even realize what the favorite ship has been for this fandom ever since you appeared in the series three books ago?”

“If you say Chloe/Ruby…” Chloe narrowed her eyes threateningly.

“No! No! It’s so much more awesome than that!” Lois’ smirk was pure evil. “It’s Winchullivan!”

Chloe raised her eyebrow. “Huh?”

Lois sighed. “They’ve Brangelina’d it. You get it? Winchester? Sullivan? Winch-ullivan?”

Chloe’s eyes widened. “What?”

Lois grinned. “Yep.”

The blonde then frowned. “Wait a second, that makes no sense. That’s way too vague to be a like brangelina.”

“Well, they break it down into different sub-categories.” Lois replied, showing off her knowledge of the fan fiction underworld and its lingo. “There’s Chlon, which is you and Papa!Winchester, then there’s even some Chlary, which has you with Mama!Winchester---.”

“With Mary?” Chloe blinked in shock at that one.

“Uh-huh.” Lois nodded vigorously before continuing. “Then there’s Chladam, which has you somehow saving Adam and him going all goo-goo eyed over you.”

Chloe sighed, wishing that at least the saving part had happened.

She’d never met the boy personally, but it’d been so hurtful for the boys to find out about him only to realize that they’d gotten there way too late.

“Then there’s the stories where you end up with either Sam or Dean but they are either born girls or get transformed into girls, and thus you have the ever rare yet utterly delicious (when done right) Winchullivan femslash.” Lois pointed out.

Chloe stopped her right there. “There are stories about Dean Winchester being turned into a girl?”

Lois nodded.

Chloe grinned evilly. “Do you have any links to them? I think I’m going to send him some of those.”

Lois, thinking that one over, grinned just as evilly. “I’ll email you the links as soon as we’re done.”

“Perfect.” Chloe rubbed her hands together like some evil genius as she imagined Dean and Sam’s reactions when they opened their email on Sam’s computer and read the stories to the links she’d send them.

Sammy would laugh his ass off and Dean would probably want to kill her.

She couldn’t wait.

“And then there’s Chlam, and Chlean, which are, of course, you and Sam, and you with Dean.” Lois continued on. “But then there’s the almighty Schlean. And to that I bow my head and vow to worship till my dying day.”

“Schlean?” Chloe blinked. “Who with Dean?”

“Well, actually,” Lois grinned malevolently, leaning forwards. “It’s a threesome.”

It took a total of three seconds for Chloe to figure out who was in the threesome, and she shot out of her chair like a bullet, eyes wide and face flushed. “No way! You’re just playing with me!”

“I am not!” Lois laughed. “Check out the websites for yourself! Most of the fans are sick of the Chlean/Chlam faction wars and have decided that the only way to settle this civilly and without bloodshed is to switch to Schlean.”

“Why can’t they just give one of the brothers to you?” Chloe asked.

Lois pouted. “Apparently I’m too wild for Sam and too much like Dean for Dean. And anyway, what they write is, well, true. Chloe, if it hadn’t have been for you, those two would have distanced themselves so badly and would have broken apart. You’re the one who helped heal the horrible relationship they’d had after Dean came back from hell, you’re the one who helped them deal with their individual and combined problems, if they have any issue they come to you with it…you’re the glue that kept the Winchesters together and stopped the Apocalypse.”

“I didn’t stop the Apocalypse.” Chloe sighed, sitting down once more. “That was all of our works combined. And anyway…why are we talking about such trivial matters like fan fiction when we have importantreal matters to take care of at the moment?”

“Because the important real matters aren’t half as juice as fan fiction.” Lois pouted.

Chloe raised a disbelieving eyebrow at her cousin. “There might be another Apocalypse in the making and you don’t think that’s juicy?”

“Will you and Sam and Dean just, for no plot advancement whatsoever and yet for the sake of fan-service and all things sexy, just break out in hard, rough, long sex in the Watchtower before remembering at the last moment some ridiculously easy thing we can do to save the world, do it, and then you three break out into more three-some awesome sex to celebrate? No. I don’t think so!” And Lois looked angry at Chloe for it.

Chloe’s eyes widened. “In the Watchtower?!?”

“You’ve read it?” Lois asked in surprise. “Well, uh, it was actually In Watchtower, and it wasn’t exactly referring to this building…”

Chloe had never been so embarrassed in her life. “Stop it! Enough!” Bringing her hands to her inflamed face, Chloe whimpered. “I’m never going to be able to look at this place the same way again.”

Lois got up and placed a comforting hand on her shoulder. “Well, I get paired with Bobby a lot. So, you know, between hot Schlean Watchtower sex and Lobby sex amongst dusty old books in some rundown house? You weren’t the one who got the short straw.”

Chloe pulled her hands from her face, pouting. “I think Bobby has something going on for him.”

Lois thought of it for a moment before grinning. “You know what, he kinda does.”

Chloe’s phone rang. She reached for it and blushed when she saw Dean’s number. She did not need this right now!

Clearing her throat she pressed the speaker button. “Hey Dean, is there anything I can help you and Sam with today?”

“Why so cold all of a sudden, gorgeous?” Dean wanted to know. “I’da thought you’d be happy to hear from your two favorite men in the whole wide world.”

Chloe narrowed her eyes, cheeks inflaming. “You mean you’ve heard from Clark and Ollie?”

Ouch.” Dean muttered.

“That was kinda harsh, Chlo.” Sam’s voice proved that, once again, they were using speakerphone while calling her.

They, for some reason, always did that---or kept stealing the phone from each other.

It was kinda cute.

“Sorry.” Chloe sighed. “I---I’m a little tense over here right now. I shouldn’t have taken it out on you two.”

All the joking atmosphere was gone from the other end in seconds.

“What’s wrong, gorgeous?” Dean asked, voice steel. “Is something bothering you? We’re two states over. We can make it there by tomorrow if I break a coupla speed records.”

“No I’m---.” Chloe blinked in surprise.

“Is it that dick again? Is he bothering you?” Sam growled, sounding dangerous. “Can’t he just get that you’re not interested? We’re going to have to deal with him again.”

“What? Who?” Chloe frowned. “What do you mean again?”

“Gotta go, darling.” Dean cut in.

“We’ll be there soon, Chlo.” Sam added.

And then they hung up.

Chloe looked at her cellular, eyes wide before she growled and threw the cellular on the carpet. “What the hell is wrong with them!?! They’re always doing crap like that!”

“And who are they going to deal with…again?” Lois giggled, so utterly amused with the situation and her oblivious cousin.

“That’s what I want to know!” Chloe snapped before storming out of the room, muttering about tearing both men ‘a new one’ when they arrived.

Lois shook her head, snorting in amusement, watching her go until she disappeared. “And yet that girl has no idea why, after reading these interactions, the fans are so into schlean.”

Shaking her head, Lois turned back to her computer, opened her word document and began typing the rest of the chapter of the sequel to her most beloved fan fiction yet.

In Watchtower: The Sequel

Letting out an evil laugh, Lois lost herself to all the porn.

12th-Nov-2009 08:01 pm (UTC)
So unbelievably awesome!!! I do not have words to describe the awesomeness that is this fic, so freaking funny. I for one vote that you write "In Watchtower" for real *grins*
12th-Nov-2009 08:33 pm (UTC)
*Just tries to imagine what Lois Lane might have written in that story...and dies blushing* lol
12th-Nov-2009 08:34 pm (UTC)
I totally love this. And of course Lois would write fanfiction. TRUFAX.
12th-Nov-2009 08:45 pm (UTC)
And erotic fanfiction at that! :D
12th-Nov-2009 08:35 pm (UTC) - Schlean!
Lois continued on. “But then there’s the almighty Schlean. And to that I bow my head and vow to worship till my dying day.”

I really seriously love your fangirl!Lois!

This was hilariously wonderful, and I will totally read Lois' "In Watchtower" and it's sequel, if you ever write them!

Poor Chloe, she can't bring herself to acknowledge that Lois is completely right.
12th-Nov-2009 08:51 pm (UTC) - Re: Schlean!
Thank you! Lois is passionate about all she does, so I figured when she fangirled she didn't hold back! :D
12th-Nov-2009 08:38 pm (UTC)
This is beyond cute! Of course Chloe's wildly popular and paired with a lot of different people, though I have to confess to never seeing a fic where she's with John Winchester.

And I love that it's Lois writing the Schlean stories :):)

12th-Nov-2009 08:48 pm (UTC)
Thanks! This idea has been bugging me FOREVER since the boys first mentioned their fanfiction on the show. So I'm glad I was able to finally find the time (in between stories) to write this little thing :D
12th-Nov-2009 08:51 pm (UTC)
Haven't read yet, Love, just wanted to let you know that... on my friends page, your LJ cut didn't work, so I got the whole thing posted there /chuckle.

Take care hun and chat later.
12th-Nov-2009 08:54 pm (UTC)
Thanks for telling me. For some reason I had to post and repost and repost this over and over again! IT kept on disappearing right before positing or doing crap like that. *sighs*
12th-Nov-2009 09:32 pm (UTC)
Oh my god, that was great! It is alway interesting to see the characters reaction to the fan based around them and this is one of the few fan bases that could have an honest interaction with because of Chuck's book. Brilliant. Just brilliant!
12th-Nov-2009 09:40 pm (UTC)
Thank you thank you! *grins broadly and bows repeatedly*
12th-Nov-2009 09:34 pm (UTC)
hilarious! Lois is the best and of course I love the interaction between Chloe and the boys! please more! :)
12th-Nov-2009 09:40 pm (UTC)
I'm so glad you liked! Thanks for commenting :D
12th-Nov-2009 10:49 pm (UTC)
that was awesome...so very very awesome...love this...perfect...lol...I diez!

I had no idea there were Winchullivan fic's that are femslash, really???? Color me suprised!!!
12th-Nov-2009 10:57 pm (UTC)
Thanks! I'm glad you liked :D
12th-Nov-2009 10:52 pm (UTC)
Oh my god so funny!!! I love Lois and her strange perverted ideas.....much like I love you!

(btw, I've just realized I'm logged in as tanzanick not tanzachick but I'm the same person, I swear!)
12th-Nov-2009 10:57 pm (UTC)
I'll believe you! *grins*
13th-Nov-2009 12:26 am (UTC)
Haha, it's amazing. I could totally see Lois reading fanfiction. And my favorite line was, obviously... “You’ve read it?” Lois asked in surprise. “Well, uh, it was actually In Watchtower, and it wasn’t exactly referring to this building…”.

13th-Nov-2009 12:32 am (UTC)
Thanks for commenting! I'm glad you enjoyed it since I enjoyed writing this a lot!
13th-Nov-2009 12:47 am (UTC)
Marvelous crack! Anytime you feel like doing a sequel would be alright with me!
13th-Nov-2009 01:49 am (UTC)
Thank you! *grins broadly*
13th-Nov-2009 02:02 am (UTC)
That was awesome! Go Lois, of course she'd be the one out of all of them to write the fic.
13th-Nov-2009 02:06 am (UTC)
Yep, that's our Lois :D
13th-Nov-2009 03:41 am (UTC)
What I love is that Lois is so totally into the fanfic. I mean, Sam, Dean and Chloe are weirded out by it, but Lois just glories in it. I love that. Of course, the threesome thing is pretty standard for people who can't decide who they want a character to be with. Buffy/Angel/Spike, Willow/Oz/Tara are two examples. People just like having their cake and eating it too.
13th-Nov-2009 12:54 pm (UTC)
Exactly...fanfic is probably ones of the only ways you can 'have you cake and eat it too' in these sorts of situations----and Lois is eating a lot of cake these days :D
13th-Nov-2009 04:05 am (UTC)
omg i so loved this it so made my day and i so needed to laugh and i did . lol about the bda and the pink princess lol. also loved lois telling chloe about her being paired with the boys lol. and that lois was writing fan fiction about the three of them and it was porn brilliant . i wonder who the boys will have to deal with when they get to her ? i also loved the way thye put her on speakerphone to talk to her and her them . if you ever write a sq i will so read it .
13th-Nov-2009 12:56 pm (UTC)
I'm so glad youve enjoyed this! I've wanted to write a short little thing like this ever since it was brought into the show---so it was great to finally be able to get the inspiration and get it off of my head!
13th-Nov-2009 05:03 am (UTC)
LOL!! What a perfect fic to read before watching SPN!!!

Love your Lois and how much she loves fanfiction but writes it as well.

Can't stop laughing!!!
13th-Nov-2009 12:56 pm (UTC)
thank you thank you!
Laughter is my aim :D
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